Pairing(s): Nick/Kevin Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Originally Published: 2/4/2021 **Direct Sequel to 001. - Beginnings - Crush**
Kevin lifted the heavy weights high above his head and tried desperately to only think about the task at hand. This was his third night in a hotel gym this week alone. He could only pray the next hotel had one as well. It seemed to be his only saving grace lately. He debated momentarily going to management and demanding that they make sure every hotel had one from here on out, but he worried it would cause more harm than good. Make everyone too suspicious of his newfound love of exercise.
He closed his eyes tightly and continued to lift the weights over and over. He knew it was dangerous, lifting this much every night, especially without a spotter. He couldn't help it though. It was the only thing that would focus all of his energy and keep the demons at bay.
He tried to get lost in the music coming from his discman. Tried desperately to relax back against the weight bench as he lifted and lowered the weights. The burn in his arms was nothing in comparison to the burning he felt inside. He hated himself for the way he felt, the way he - a child, could make him feel. He was out of his mind with desire for the other man who wasn't even a man yet. Barely even 17 years old but still the feelings grew and threatened to overtake him.
He did several more reps, the sweat pouring from his brow and arms, making his grip slippery. He opened his eyes long enough to see to place the weights back on the bar and felt his blood run cold as his eyes landed on the blue eyed, blonde haired cherub that tormented his thoughts. Nick stood by the door, fidgeting from one foot to the other while he watched Kevin's movements. Kevin groaned and slammed his eyes shut again as he collapsed back down on the bench. What in the world was he doing down here? It was way past his lights out and he had to know he'd be risking being grounded for being out of his room this late. Not to mention, he was adding too much undue pressure to the frustration Kevin was already dealing with. Why the hell couldn't he leave him alone to be tormented in peace?
After several moments he knew he was going to have to address the young boy. Groaning once again, this time from the pain in his arms and back, he struggled to a sitting position on the weight bench, pushing his back up against the back of the machine. He grabbed a towel he'd placed on the floor before beginning and quickly rid his face and arms of the sweat that had materialized during his workout.
Finally opening his eyes fully, they settled on the blonde again. "What are you doing down here Nick. You're supposed to be in bed."
Nick shrugged and a small blush decorated his cheeks. "I always come down here."
Kevin's mouth fell open and he tried not to let his frustration show. "What do you mean you always come down here?"
Nick shifted his weight from one foot to the other while trying not to stare. "I always follow you down here. You never notice me and usually the room is set up differently so I can watch you without the risk of being seen. Plus you hardly ever open your eyes once you get started so it's usually safe."
Kevin didn't know if he should yell or cry. He shook his head in disbelief before focusing his attention on the young man again. "Why are you following me down here. Do you need something?" He couldn't believe that Nick had been following him around to the hotel gyms without him ever knowing. The one reason he was doing this at all was to get away from the blonde and deal with his feelings in a healthier way, and now was learning that the boy was following him.
The blush was back, this time deeper than before. "It's the only time I can look at you without getting caught."
Kevin closed his eyes and dropped his head in his hands to rub his tired face. He felt like he was running from a phantom ghost he would never be free of, not really anyway. He scooted as far back on the bench as possible and then patted the open area, signaling to Nick to come and sit beside him. This was a terrible idea, but he didn't want to be yelling this conversation across the room either in case someone else happened into the room.
Nick hesitated only slightly before crossing the room and settling himself on the edge of the bench. Kevin could feel the heat from the boy the moment he sat down and swallowed hard in a vain attempt to keep his hormones in check. He usually worked very hard to keep the other boy at arms distance but now, he was only adding salt to injury by inviting the boy to be so close to him.
"Why do you want to watch me? Why are you coming down here? You know if you get caught you're going to be in a lot of trouble." Kevin said looking over at the blonde.
Nick gave him another small smile. "Because I love you silly." Nick smiled up at the older man with the childish innocence he'd always possessed. It was that same innocence that kept Kevin up at night and down here in the gym.
"Nick," Kevin started but Nick interrupted.
"Dont Kevin. I know what you're going to say. You're going to insist I'm too young and that I'm confused and all the other insane things you've been trying to tell me since I was twelve years old. I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm not twelve anymore. I'm seventeen now and next year I'll be a legal adult. In five years I've only fallen more in love with you than I was then and I can promise you, it's only going to keep growing from there. I love you Kevin, and one day I'm not going to be this child that you see anymore and you're going to have to stand up and look me in the eye and tell me you'll never love me to get me to stop, because that's what it's going to take Kevin. I've told you time and time again how I feel about you and you remain silent. Eventually you're either going to have to accept it and love me back, or break my heart. But for now, I'm going to keep getting my glimpses of you where I can. And I particularly like watching you when you are shirtless and sweaty. It's very sexy." Nick blushed once more and then stood.
Kevin watched him, unable to form words to even reply but Nick's demeanor and actions didn't seem like the needed one. Nick turned and gave him one last small smile, one that hit Kevin square in the heart before turning and exiting the gym. It was only after he was completely alone did he feel his heart beat slow and his breath return to normal.
No, breaking the boy's heart was never going to be an option, not for Kevin. Especially not when he wanted him more than he wanted his next breath. Somehow, though, he had to make it until the boy was at least eighteen. Kevin refused to even flirt with the idea of touching him any sooner.
Settling back into the weight bench and his own thoughts he picked up the heavy weights and began lifting again. It was just a few more months right? Now that he had confirmation that Nick's feelings remained steadfast with him he felt the tension ease in his chest ease slightly. If there was any hope that they could be together in a few months then Kevin would do whatever necessary to make it until then. He grimaced as the weights grew heavier in his hands. He was getting tired and it would soon be time to retire to his room to shower and fall into a fitful sleep with thoughts of the blonde consuming his every thought. Eleven months. He could make it.