How long they had laid on the ground, he wasn't sure, but they still did when their tears had long dried up. Neither of them wanted to move away from each other. Brian had calmed down considerably and even though he still was in pain for the first time in a long while his mind was set on something positive. Finally those three words had been spoken by both of them. Nick loved him and he loved Nick. It had been what he had always dreamed about and now it was reality. What a fool would he be if he just parted from that beautiful angel now? How long had he wanted to feel Nick holding him close? Now he was doing it and god did it feel good. Never before in his life had he felt so protected and warm as he did now. And as he turned around to face Nick, he found him smiling. He didn't show his teeth with that smile, but it was so true and so heartfelt, that Brian could not help but to respond with one of his own.
They felt the same and no words were needed anymore to explain their emotions. Their hearts were beating in unison with a quick pace produced by the excitement of loving each other. Their eyes still red from crying found each other and let both men sink deep into the blue oceans they carried. And their hands: while Nicks were motionless, Brian moved his left to gently move a strand of hair away from Nicks face. How beautiful he was, not only superficially, but with his whole being. He certainly had him enchanted and all those fears about being touched seemed forgotten with him. Right now, he did not want it any different. In fact he only wanted to move closer and then he did. Inching just a tiny bit nearer, just close enough that he could place a single gentle kiss onto Nicks smiling lips. As he did the smile did not fade, but Nick moved the arm that was still slung around him. He pulled it away and moved his hand up so he could caress Brian's face. It was obvious, that he was being careful, afraid to hurt or scare him. Of course he was, after he had witnessed how Bri had acted earlier. He was thankful for that care. While part of him would have loved for Nick to be less careful, it still was for the best. This was the surest way to avoid provoking his trauma again. The touch felt good and loving, so he tilted his head lightly to lean into those caressing fingers traveling along his cheek. As he did his angels smile started to grow a bit wider.
It was still visible even as Nick started to speak, breaking the silence that had lasted for so long: "Do you even know how beautiful you are?", and as he spoke he traced his fingers along the lines of his face. "You have always been." Brian couldn't help but to blush at those words. He didn't think he was very beautiful, not recently at least "No, you are beautiful. I'm just... how did you say? Deaths skinnier brother?", it had indeed been a rather fitting description. Nick sighed, well so much for romantic conversation. "Well, your weight IS worrying. But you are sick Brian and we can work on that. You will get healthy again!", and he leaned forward. Before he spoke on he brought his lips up to Brian's forehead, placing the gentlest of kisses there. As he moved his head back again he was smiling: "You are still beautiful though, don't let anyone tell you otherwise."
While he still was not sure he agreed, Brian did not speak up again until Nick suddenly moved away from him to stand up from the floor: "Where you going?", was the obvious question on his mind and Nick stretched his body lightly before he answered: "Well I'm going to get you a new cup of coffee and I will have to clean up your bed.", he gestured as the spot of coffee that was now all over the once white sheets. "You can take a shower while I'm gone, I already put some fresh clothes in there.", and he pointed at the bathroom, "They are mine so they might not fit you so well, but for now they have to do. We can drive by your place later to get your stuff." As Nick was finished with that explanation he was about to go, but Brian managed to get up in time to grab him on the arm lightly: "Wait!", and Nick blinked a little bit confused as he turned around to face him: "So, your plan is to get my stuff here? You want me to stay with you?"
Nick nodded at that question, but Brian was still not ready to let him go: "You know that things will get intense, right? I... already can feel that urge. I want... a drink, coke, Kate. Just anything. I can already feel it and I'm not even into withdrawal yet.", those concerns were only logical and even though logic had never been Nicks thing, he understood where Bri was coming from: "I know and I know that you need to go to rehab to get better. But until you can go there I would prefer it if you stayed here, where I can watch you." Speaking those words he got a key from his pocket to show it to him: "Here I can make sure you won't run to your dealers anymore. I can't do that when you are at your place."
Brian frowned he was not sure how he felt about the idea of being locked up. Of course Nick wanted to prevent him from getting away, but it felt strange to be locked away like a prisoner. Additionally there was the problem that he didn't know what Peter would do if he did not show up at Unity anymore. At best he didn't care, at worst he might check the tapes of the clubs security cams. Then he would find out Bri went with Nick and he didn't even want to think about what would happen then. That man was capable of anything and thinking of him dampened his mood immediately. "I don't know how to feel about that, Nick.", he spoke honestly but still released grip on Nicks arm. The taller blonde gave him a sympathetic look: "Trust me, alright? I'll try my best for you.", he paused only to lead one hand to Brians face again. There he caressed his cheek with his thumb: "I love you." And as Nick said those words again any thoughts of protest escaped Bris mind. If there was anybody he could trust it was Nick. He was his friend and now he also was his lover. So he nodded: "Alright...", and as he looked back up Nick was moving towards the door. Before he could leave Brian raised his voice again: "I love you too.", he had to make sure that Nick knew that, no matter what would happen. His lover answered by turning once more to give him a smile, before he stepped through the door closing and locking it behind him.
So a shower he said? Slow steps were already carrying Brian to the bathroom next door. He didn't know what to expect, but he was pleasantly surprised when he stepped into the room only to find it was quite luxurious. The room was not only clean, but also quite spacious. There was a bathing tub standing in the center of the room, which seemed quite inviting, but the shower was even more impressive. It was large enough that ten people would have fit in it without it getting crammed and the shower heads were the kind which made you feel like you were standing in a warm summer rain. On the opposite wall he noticed a mirror and a large basin combined with a shelf.
That was also where he saw the clothes Nick had prepared for him. They probably would be much too large for him, but at least his angel had made sure, that he liked the colors or rather the lack thereof. Black pants and a white blouse, and gray Calvin Klein underwear. Not that Brian was excited to wear Nicks underwear, but they seemed to be clean and fresh. Still underwear was definitely something they would have to get from his place. He didn't want to wear Nicks boxer shorts any longer than needed. Getting clean would certainly feel good since he felt kind of messy. Being a junkie he had forgotten to care about things like hygiene or cleanliness. When your mind was always set on how to get your next high you had no time to think about things like that. Even now he was thinking about whether or not Nick had something to drink in his house and how he could get to it. However being locked away like that, he couldn't do anything about his urge, so he had to focus on other things. Taking a shower was not the worst thing he could have focused on. Actually he was kind of looking forward to it.
-
When Nick heard the water starting to run in the distance he couldn't help but smile. While it might not be able to wash Brian's worries away, he still hoped it would feel good. He wanted his Frick to feel comfy at his place, he wanted him to enjoy staying here. He loved him. It had been so unexpected, that it had happened that way. One night earlier he had not even been sure what he felt for Brian and now it had become so crystal clear. He wasn't even sure how it had happened that fast, but he didn't regret it. What had happened and what he had said felt so real. It was as if he had finally met his destiny. And yet there was a darkness looming over everything, a darkness, that their common light still had to break. Love was never easy, but what he faced with Brian was more than challenging. Drugs, weight issues and worst of all his lover had been through trauma. Nick wanted to face all those problems, fight them for him, but he knew, that he would need help. The seriousness of Brian's troubles demanded professional help and therapy, but Nick was determined to be by his side, wherever his path lead him.
*Ding Dong*
Thinking about help. As Nick heard the doorbell he gasped lightly. He had nearly forgotten, that he had contacted AJ the night before, but as he lead his fast steps towards the mansions entrance he felt kind of relieved. Not that he would have minded to stay alone with Brian if the circumstances were different. Right now though he welcomed the idea of AJ being here. So he opened the door without hesitation as he reached it. "AJ!", there he was standing in front of his door with a slight frown written on his face. Of course he wasn't smiling: "Yo Nick, I'm here. What's up with Brian?", straight to the point as usual AJ pushed past him into the house without even waiting for an answer. Closing the door behind them Nick sighed: "Much, bad stuff. You know?", it felt awkward to speak about another persons problems, but he had to do it: "Brian is in trouble. He's doing drugs." In response AJ stared at him in disbelief, that did not come as a surprise. If Nick would not have seen it with it own eyes, he would not have believed it either. His band-mate didn't say anything, but Nick still had to assure him: "No AJ, it's true. I know how it sounds, but... it's bad." The stern expression on his face seemed to be enough for his friend to believe him. That didn't mean he knew how to react to it and that became obvious through his prolonged silence. "Oh boy...", before he said anything else he started to walk down the hallway leading towards the living room.
"How did that happen and where is he now?", valid questions but Nick only knew the answer to one of them. "I don't know exactly. He said something about depression, but I don't know the details of how he got into drugs. Said he did coke, Ketamine, Ecstasy, Speed and LSD.", AJ gasped at hearing all the stuff their mate took, "Yeah.", Nick sighed, "But the good news is, I have him here at my place... the water running, that's him.", he mentioned the sound of the shower that still was running in the distance and AJ looked at him with a mixture of relieve and worry. "That's a lot of shit, Nick. How long has he been using?", before Nick spoke on he sat down on the living room couch as they finally reached it, then he patted the cushion next to him inviting AJ to sit down. "I don't know exactly. I would guess a few months. He looks really sick, but... he's been through stuff.", the dark-haired man raised his eyebrows as he heard Nicks words. He was about to ask something when Nick silenced him: "I can't tell you more, it's not my story to tell. But, I need your help. Bri needs to get to rehab. You know more about that stuff than I do. If you would... I mean I would be thankful if you could help me look after him." As he had spoken those words AJ looked him over obviously examining him, then it was he who sighed. "Well shit, but of course I will help you, Bri is my friend, too. Bring me to him."
-
The shower had been refreshing. After stepping out of it Brian felt wide awake and ready to face another day. But first he had to face himself. One of the harder challenges that had laid ahead of him in those last few months. Once there had been a time when he did not mind looking into the mirror. That had been before he became a walking skeleton, before he had been covered in bruises. They didn't hurt as bad as they looked and he only ever felt them when someone touched them, but they were a constant reminder of a much bigger underlying pain. When he looked at them he was reminded of how he got them. The cut near his belly button, he got it when he tried to get away from his tormentors. The dark spot on his chest, he had gotten that when he was not quick enough to turn around. And the marks of hand-prints on his waist, he had gotten them, the last time that monster took him forcefully. He shook his head at that thought, closing his eyes firmly. Those images he had to put them away, couldn't dwell on them. Not now when it was important to change something. Change for Nick. Luckily the fact, that his lover had prepared new clothes for him helped with focusing on something else. As Brian lifted the Blouse a wave of Nicks scent hit his nostrils and that made him smile. Dark thoughts were pushed away by memories of Nick and as Brian put the blouse on he wished to be back in his arms. That was where he truly felt safe and at home, but right now a locked door isolated him away from his lover. Well at least it had done so, because just as he was about to put on the boxer shorts he heard the door to the guest-room unlock again. Impatiently he rushed dressing himself, so he could run back to the love of his life. He didn't even finish completely before he moved toward the door leading back to the guest room. As he opened it he had barely managed to close the button of the pants in time.
"Brian?", now that was not the voice he had expected. That was not Nick, that was AJ and that left Brian confused as he opened the door. But indeed there he was standing looking tough as usual and yet he looked like he was full of worries. So he knew? Had Nick called him? Before he even answered AJs question he looked at the tall blonde who entered the room behind the other. There was an apologetic look on his face, but Brian wasn't angry, he just was surprised. Finally he looked back to AJ, who was quite shocked now. "So... I guess you know too then.", Brian sighed and moved closer. "I told him about your drug-abuse, yeah.", it was Nicks way of saying, he had not spoken about the bruises. Bri got that hint and he nodded just lightly. "He did and he wasn't kidding when he said you look really sick. Man, shit. You need help!" As was to be expected AJ noticed how thin he was. Being dressed in Nicks clothes like that it was even more obvious. Even as he was at a healthy weight Nick had always been taller than him and so his clothes were more than over-sized on Brian. It looked like he was drowning in them. Somehow it was odd how the tables were reversed now. He could remember a time, when it had been AJ who needed help. He had never fallen as deep as Brian had, but he had come pretty close to drowning in a swamp as well. Perhaps that was why Nick had gotten him to come. "I know I do. Is that why you are here? To tell me I need help? I already know that.", he didn't know why but all of a sudden he felt defensive and slightly angry. Why did they keep telling him things he already knew? That little outburst did not go unnoticed and while Nick moved past the other to move closer to Brian, AJ shook his head: "Na, Nick called me to help you. Best way I know how to help is to contact my therapist. She can get you into rehab!" As Nick finally reached him Brian examined him for a second. What was he going to do with their common friend in the room? Did he tell them, that they loved each other? That would certainly sound weird, especially when it came next to the announcement that Brian did drugs. When Nick simply stopped right next to him Brian just sighed and looked back to AJ: "But me going to rehab would mean the press finds out.", Nick shot him a look as he said that and Alex frowned as well. "I told you before, press doesn't matter. You matter and you need help.", his lover sounded angry and Brian ducked his head lightly. "Yepp, what he says.", AJ nodded at Nicks words. Now there were two against one and even though that was unfair, he knew they were right. If he didn't go to rehab, if he didn't get proper therapy, he knew he would die from his addiction eventually. And while that had been such a welcome idea a few days ago, now there was something, someone to live for: Nick. Carefully he glanced over to him and as there eyes met he felt his love again. He kept his eyes locked on those blues, even as he raised his voice again: "Alright, I'll do it.", finally he looked away from Nick, to face AJ: "I will try it. For everything that I love. "If Nick was good with cryptic messages, Brian was a master and he had to hold back a smile as he noticed his lover leaning a bit closer to him. They would need to tell AJ, eventually.