I didn’t mean to eavesdrop into their conversation. I was walking out of my hotel room to meet Howie in the lobby bar of the hotel.
When I left the room I’d imagined just another night of feeling sorry for myself, because the one I love didn’t love me back. Same old story right. He loved me of course we were practically brothers- just not the way I needed him too.
I was coming out into the hallway and I glanced at Nick’s door like I did every time I passed it. I noticed the door was standing wide open and Alex was standing in the door frame. I could tell Nick and him were fighting by Alex’s posture. He had the whole attitude going on. I always wanted to deck him when he was like that. I felt the need to pounce Alex and beat him for the things that I heard him throw at Nick.
I’m sorry, but for the life of me I can’t figure out how someone could treat Nick that way. Call me biased I guess but for the life of me I can’t understand where Alex gets the pleasure of making Nick feel like dirt. Nothing pisses me off more.
Alex doesn’t realize what he has.
I would give my life for just a little bit of Nick’s love and Alex had it and chose to throw it aside. Nothing confused me more. No one deserves to be treated the way that Alex treats Nick. What was even more surprising though was that Nick loved him no matter what he did. Alex uses it to his advantage though. I had a hatred for Alex that I couldn’t explain. Maybe it was because he held my hold world in the palm of him hands and he got a raise of treating it horribly.
I’m not sure how Alex could sleep at night knowing how bad he’d affected Nick. No one knew how deep my feelings for Nick ran. Well I never voiced them out loud. I’m sure they knew from how I acted when he was near me. I knew Nick would never return them and It was a lost cause but for some reason it made me feel better to know that if nothing else he would always have love from me. I just wish he would open his eyes and realize that Alex is no good for him. It broke my heart to see him crying after something that Alex had said or done to him.
It took every ounce of self-control I had not to tear through the hotels and rip Alex to shreds sometimes. I continued to listen to the fight but hid my body behind a bunch of potted plants near Nick’s door. My heart tightened when I heard the raw emotion in Nick’s voice. I wanted nothing more than to go and take all of his pain away and convince him that we would be great together, that I could love him more than anyone else ever could.
Then I heard it. “Why do you hate me?” Nick voice sounded desperate and it broke my heart all over again.
I closed my eyes tightly and envisioned the blonde sitting on the bed in their hotel room trying desperately not to cry while he asked a question I wasn’t sure he really wanted the answer to. My heart went out to the younger man every time Alex was like this. It just didn’t seem right.
I’m desperately in love with Nick, willing to give my life for him but Alex is the one with him trying to destroy him. I’m just the one who gets to pick up all of Nick’s broken pieces. I heard the rest of the argument then the slamming of their hotel door. Alex walked down the hallway yelling and cursing. I waited until I saw him enter the elevators and leave the floor before I made my way towards the man he left behind.