Pairing(s): Nick/Kevin Rated: R Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes Originally Published: Early 2000s
Nick’s Pov
“I can’t push any harder!” I yelled as the therapist pushed my leg back towards my body.
“It’s ok baby, it’s ok,” Kevin whispered in my ear lovingly.
I closed my eyes and leaned back against him. He kissed my temple and hugged me against him.
“Give us a few minutes,” Kevin told the therapist. She was used to us by now so she just smiled and left the room to give us privacy.
“It hurts so much Kev,” I said my eyes filling with tears.
“That’s good baby. It means the feeling’s coming back.” He kissed the top of my head and held me tighter. “You just do the best you can. Don’t worry about not being able to do everything all at once. In time you will be able to do every thing you could before. Right now your just learning to breathe in your new life so don’t get all worked up. I have faith in you,” He whispered softly.
I smiled and snuggled my face into his neck. 2 months had passed since I’d gotten out of the hospital. 2 months since my old life ended and my new one began. I’m still just learning to breathe, but with Kevin it’s easier. I hadn’t spoken to any of the guys except AJ.
When Kevin and I told them we were leaving the group, AJ announced that he would be leaving as well. Howie and Brian weren’t happy about AJ leaving because the group couldn’t run on two members. The Backstreet Boys officially ended in the winter of 2003. Kevin and I had went public with our relationship after the split and the fans were nothing but supportive. It was a blessing. Kevin and
I grew accustomed to my wheel chair and I could wheel myself around on my own now. I had to meet with a physical therapist every morning for three hours. Kevin always went with me and AJ came too sometimes. It was hard for me, and my legs always hurt terribly afterwards. Kevin said it was helping me to walk again so I did it. Learning to breathe in a new life was the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do.
I grimaced as the therapist came back in and I had to leave Kevin’s arms.
This was my new life.
Kevin’s Pov
I watched my baby as he tried to do everything the therapist wanted him to do while sitting in pain. I know it had to be killing him and I was so proud of him for going through with it. I wasn’t sure I could if I was in his position. I held his hand the entire time he went through the therapy. I did everything I could to make sure I took away as much pain as I could.
AJ had been nothing but supportive and I loved him for that. Nick needed all the positive influence.
I felt Nick’s grip tighten and he screamed out in pain. It broke my heart that he was hurting and there was nothing I could really do. I hated being this helpless. I loved him so much; I hated it when he hurt.
The doctor said even though it would hurt badly it was good because the feeling was coming back. The doctor now had full belief that he would really walk again. I knew he would. I just had to stand beside him. It was the only thing I could really do. I felt like this whole thing was my fault anyway. I still couldn’t get the feelings of guilt to go away.
The guys wouldn’t speak to us, not that I minded. Brian was my cousin and I couldn’t believe he’d said some of things that he did.
I came back to reality when I felt Nick throw himself in my arms. He was crying and the therapist looked upset. I wrapped my arms around him and rocked us back and forth.
“What’s the matter baby,” I asked softly.
“It hurts so much boo,” he whimpered. “Make it stop please,” he cried clutching my neck with all he was wroth. “Please make it stop hurting so bad boo,” he sobbed.
I didn’t know how to help him with the pain. I was as new to all of this as he was. I just didn’t know what to do. I just rocked us and rubbed his legs for a while. Eventually he calmed down some and stopped crying. I kept kissing his forehead, and temple to ease some of the pain.
The therapist was used to all of this and just smiled adoringly. She had been great to Nick and to myself. She understood us and the situation we were in. She had also given us renewed hope that Nick would be able to walk.
I knew he would be able to do it; it was just convincing him of it was the problem. I had to show Nick I loved him along with telling him a lot because Nick was very self-conscious. I never wanted him to feel like I didn’t love him especially with all he’s been through because of me.
It’s my fault he’s like this. All I could do was love him with everything that I am.
There was no way in hell that I would leave him now, since he was just learning to breathe.