Have you ever looked at someone and just knew they were the perfect one for you? That they should be yours? That’s how I feel every time I look at Nick. I know now’s not the time to be feeling this way about him, but I can’t help it. I look at him and I can just tell he wants more in his life.
He has never been one to be on his own. He has always been in a relationship. Sometimes I see this longing in his eyes that tells me he feels the same way I do, but as quick as I see it, it’s gone.
He told me once that he only wanted to find his true love. He told me he felt that his true love was someone he could rely on. Someone he could go to when his world was falling apart. Someone who would help him with all of his problems. That alone makes me think he should be mine. I want nothing more than to be the one by his side. I want to be the one to protect him, be with him throughout everything.
I never want to see him the way he was a month ago. I never want to see his heart broken. I just wanted to be the one to make everything better. I want to be the one who gets to hold him and love him. He means the world to me and I would do everything in my power to make sure he never hurts again. I’m just not sure he wants me to do that.
We were cleaning the cottage. The great part about that is Nick gets really hot when he cleans so he always takes his shirt off. He’s been walking around here in sweat shorts. He has no idea what he’s doing to me.
“Kevvy, how do you turn the stereo on in here?” Nick called from the next room. It drives me insane when he calls me Kevvy. Not in a bad way, but one that could get me in trouble if Nick found out about.
“Here baby, you have to hit the radio button on the side.” I said coming up behind him. I flicked the switch and the slow, smooth sound of Brian McKnight’s “Anytime” came blasting through the speakers.
Nick’s eyes lit up as he recognized the song. It was one I had used to sing to him every night when he was younger.He used to come into my bunk scared to death because of a nightmare and I sang him the song and he’d be sleeping peacefully in minutes.
“Dance with me Kevvy,” Nick pleaded turning to face me.
“Come here baby,” I said drawing him into my arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around my neck while I wrapped mine around his waist pulling him tightly against me.
He laid his head on my shoulder and I softly began to sing the song to him. I felt myself be overwhelmed with a million emotions all at once.
I can't remember why we fell apart From something that was so meant to be, yeah Forever was the promise in our hearts Now, more and more I wonder where you are Do I ever cross your mind, anytime Do you ever wake up reaching out for me Do I ever cross your mind anytime I miss youStill have your picture in a frame Hear your footsteps down the hall I swear I hear your voice, driving me insane How I wish that you would call To say(No more) loneliness and heartache (No more) crying myself to sleep (Don't want no more) wondering about tomorrow Won't you come back to me Come back to me, ohDo I ever cross your mind, anytime Do you ever wake up reaching out for me Do I ever cross your mind anytime I miss you
I sang the song softly in his ear while he closed his eyes and pulled me tighter against him. We swayed back and forth softly to the music. We stayed like that even after the song was over.
I had closed my eyes during the song, trying to imprint the moment into my memory. I wasn’t aware that Nick was coming closer to me until I felt his lips meet mine. He kissed me softly, scared like.
I pulled him tighter against me and responded back, deepening the kiss. He wrapped his fingers in my hair and pulled my mouth down further covering his. I outlined his lips gently with my tongue willing him to open his mouth.
He responded and I explored every inch of his mouth. He moaned softly and I instantly broke away. I dropped my arms from around his waist and backed up.
“We…..I can’t do this Nick,” I said as I fled the room. I left totally oblivious to Nick’s heart breaking in two.