Pairing(s): Nick/Kevin Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Originally Published:3/20/2021
Behold all the pieces a fortress that once stood The canvas' colors can't hold like they once could And listen to the growing sound of all I've known That bids me farewell I saw the new horizon deep within your eyes As the autumn leaves fell
He'd never begged someone to touch him before. But oh how he'd begged last night. It wasn't the way he'd anticipated the evening going. No, no part of what happened last night was ever part of his plan, even on his radar. He started out with this grand scheme in his head of how he would finally make his move, finally say something about the way he felt. And then if the other was agreeable, he would show him things the younger man had never seen before. That was the plan, but then the best laid plans often go awry.
Before he had time to really understand what was happening he was on his back, his legs spread and he was panting, begging the younger man to touch him, to make him come. He'd never felt anything like it before and he didn't think he ever would. His heart beat quicker in his chest every time he thought about it. Shame, embarrassment and an overwhelming arousal he never wanted to be satisfied.
And as bad as those thoughts were, sailing around in his brain and tormenting him in the stillness of the quiet hotel room, they were even worse now that he had woken up completely alone, feeling more for the blonde than he'd ever anticipated, ever wanted to.
The whole experience was supposed to be about lust and how hot he had been for the younger man for years. It was about fulfilling a desire that burned so furious inside of him every day as he watched the younger man dance and shimmy across the stage, shaking that glorious ass. It tempted and teased him every time it bounced within his line of sight and he wanted nothing more than to bury himself deep inside it. Fucking the younger man until neither of them had the strength to move. In his mind, they would wake up the next morning and go back to the way things were and the deep seeded desire to fuck the blonde every time he breathed would disappear and Kevin could move in with his life.
But waking up cold and alone in a bed they shared the night before, Kevin felt nothing but loneliness and an aching wrenching sense of loss. It wasn't supposed to feel this way. It wasn't supposed to be like this at all. The sheets still smelled like the younger man. Kevin rolled onto his stomach he buried his face in the pillow Nick had used the night before. He breathed in the deep rich scent of sweat, musk and the ocean. This had most definitely been a mistake.
And I'm in love, yeah I'm in love You broke me like the dawn Breaks through the night That didn't even know that It needed light And I'm in love
Images of the before slammed into his mind the moment he closed his eyes. He blinked them open quickly and could see the beginnings of day break shining through the curtains. Of course the morning had come, dawn was here and it brought nothing but fear and confusion. Kevin had anticipated a nice calm morning, relishing in the night he'd shared before. Oh he was relishing. Everything he moved he could feel the pain radiating up his back. It was a good pain, one he would willfully go through again if it meant he got the blonde back in his bed. He groaned and rubbed his face.
How could he have been so stupid. Of course there would be feelings involved, he rarely did anything without feelings being involved. He had hoped though, God how he'd hoped it was just lust, but last night, it had become painfully clear. He was in love with Nick Carter. And if the fact that he'd woken up alone was any indication, he was royally fucked.
He thought about the way Nick's soft lips felt as they had kissed their way up and down his chest. How it felt when his mouth wrapped around his aching cock, licking and sucking him to completion. He'd come so many times the night before he was actually a little surprised his dick was still attached. It had never felt like this before, not even with Kristin, back when he loved everything about her. Loved. There was that word again. How the hell had he fallen in love with the younger man, the baby? And if waking up alone was any indication, he was alone in that feeling. How was he supposed to face him, look him in the eye after everything they'd done and shared and not imagine the moment and what it had felt like to feel the blonde sliding inside of him. Touching somewhere that no one else ever had before. It wasn't supposed to have been this way. He lost control and now he was going to pay for it for the rest of his life. What good are hands if there's nothing that they hold And what good are hearts if you bury them all alone Everything I knew is turning into ruins in your shadow And I thought that I'd be ready but falling isn't steady Once you let go He'd never been a bottom before. Never even had the inclination to try it. He was a top and no one was going to ask him to be anything else. So when Nick pushed him back against the plush mattress of the hotel room bed, his first thought was to protest and explain this to the younger man. All it took was one kiss and the gyration of Nick's hips to make him melt back down in the bed. Who the fuck cared if he was top or bottom, as long as it was this man he got to sleep with. He'd laid there half scared, but more turned on than he'd ever been before, the fear making every touch more intense. He didn't tell Nick he was the first, he played along like he completely understood what was happening, even if it were all a lie. He should have known then, the fact that he was that acceptable about giving himself to another man should have tipped him off that this wasn't a casual affair. God he was so stupid.
He must have drifted off. He hadn't even realized he was falling back asleep. His head had been buried in Nick's pillow, tears falling steadily as he tried to come to grips with how bad he'd messed up and how badly it was going to hurt the next time he laid eyes on the blonde. He heard a noise coming from the direction of the door but he was too tired to care. Maybe it was housekeeping coming to clean. They could do their job around where he lay wallowing in the bed. The noise grew louder and the door slammed against the wall, making a deafening crack. In the quiet room. Kevin bolted upright in the bed, his heart pounding in his chest. Nick stood in the doorway, a wooden tray in his hands and a sheepish smile across his lips. Tie this string and pull it through Either end would lead to you Cause I'm in love, yeah I'm in love "I didn't mean to wake you up." Nick said as he continued into the room, kicking the door shut behind him. He sat the tray down on the bedside table. Kevin's eyes slid over to it, his breath hitching as he gazed at the piles of rainbow colored waffles. There was a dish of strawberries, a can of whipped cream, a plate of bacon and even a little daffodil in a vase sitting on one corner of the tray.
"What's all this?" Kevin said, suddenly very aware that he was naked and pulled the sheet up higher against him.
Nick blushed. "I just wanted to do something nice for you, after last night." he bit his lip and settled at the foot of the bed.
From where Kevin sat up against the headboard he could see how nervous the younger man was. Breakfast looked delicious and Kevin was touched beyond measure that Nick had thought to do this. Maybe last night wasn't such a mistake.
"Nick…" Kevin said softly, finding it very hard to meet the younger man's eyes. "What did last night mean to you?"
Nick's smile spread across the width of his face. "Last night was everything." he whispered.
Kevin looked up then, his heart hammering in his chest and his own small smile spreading wide. "To me too."
If it were possible, Nick's eyes got even wider and bluer as they glistened in the dim light of dawn from unshed years. "I've been waiting a long time for you," he said softly.
Kevin felt like his heart would burst in his chest. He beckoned the younger man to join him at the top of the bed. Nick needed no further invitation and toed off his shoes before scrambling to his place beside Kevin. Once he was close enough to teach, Kevin drew him into his arms and gave him a soft, gentle kiss. "I love you."
Nick's smile could light up the night sky. "I love you too." You broke me like the dawn Breaks through the night That didn't even know that It needed light And I'm in love