Pairing(s): Nick/Kevin Rated: R Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes Originally Published: Early 2000s
Nick’s Pov I was in intensive care for two days. Those two days Kevin never left my side. I was thrilled that he had told me he loved me as much as I loved him, but I was afraid that he would leave me because I was paralyzed.
After knowing I’d probably never walk again, hearing Kevin tell me I wasn’t what he wanted would be the thing to throw me over he edge. I knew it would. He hadn’t told the fellas about us yet and I doubt he would. I was told I would have to go through physical therapy if I ever wanted to walk, or use my legs again. The doctors said with hope that one-day I may be able to walk again.
I’m sure it bothered Kevin that my legs were useless and I was virtually unable to take care of myself. I was told I was going to be placed in a wheelchair until my legs gained enough strength to walk again. One thing I was scared to know about was the Backstreet Boys. I know I couldn’t go on as a member when I couldn’t walk or dance. They would have to replace me.
We were scheduled to have a meeting in my hospital room. I was a little afraid of what they would decide. I glanced around the room. I hated hospitals. I smiled as the door opened and Kevin walked in with a bunch of balloons and flowers. He sat them one the big table where all the other balloons and flowers were that he had bought for me to cheer up the room. He sat beside me on the hospital bed and took my hands in his.
“What time is everyone supposed to be here?” I asked softy.
“I’m not sure baby,” he said kissing my forehead.
I nuzzled my nose in the side of his neck and breathed in his scent. Kevin always smelt like heaven. He intertwined our fingers and held my head tighter. He leaned his forehead against mine and kissed my nose lightly.
“I love you so much, you know that right?” He questioned softly.
I felt my eyes fill with tears. “No,” I managed to whisper out.
A look passed through Kevin’s eyes that I couldn’t describe. He leaned up a little.
“What do you mean no?” He asked hurt evident in his voice.
“I mean sometimes when I’m alone late at night in this damn room I wonder why you’re with me. You could be with anyone, but yet you want to be with the dumb fat kid that can’t walk. I know you love me, but sometimes I’m still scared your going to decide this isn’t what you want and your going to leave,” I managed to explain. “I love you more than life itself and I’m not sure I could take you not loving me.” I whispered before I lowered my eyes to out intertwined hands.
We sat in silence for a moment or two before Kevin lifted my chin to make my eyes level with his. “Don’t you ever think that I don’t love you. I spent too many years of my life hiding how I felt about you and I’m not going to do it any longer. I don’t care that you can’t walk. We’re going to get through it. I don’t want anyone else. I want you. I don’t care if the world ends tomorrow, I don’t care if the guys, the fans or my family finds out. I don’t care if they’re not ok with this, with us. I don’t’ care if I’m no longer in the group if it means I get to be with you. I love you for the person you are. And you will walk again. I’ll be beside you and I’ll help you through everything.” Kevin whipped the tears from his eyes and kissed away mine.
“I love you so much,” I managed through the tears that continued to fall. No one had ever said something so sincere, so sweet and romantic to me before.
I scooted over on the bed and Kevin laid beside me. He wrapped me in his arms and held me tightly to him. I wrapped my arms around him and relished in the feeling of being loved. Kevin’s lips met mine and he kissed me sweetly and pulled away. I looked deep into his eyes and smiled. I laid my head back against him and fell into a peaceful sleep. The first one I’d had in days.
Kevin’s Pov
I couldn’t believe he didn’t know how much I loved him. I would have to make sure I let him know just how much he meant to me. I should make sure he felt loved constantly. I was so tired. I plopped into a chair in the hospital cafeteria.
We had a meeting in a little less than an hour and I planned to tell the guys about us then. If they got mad and wanted me out of the group I’d leave. Nothing at this point was more important than Nick. I knew he would be able to walk again. Someday we’ll know if he’ll walk again. Someday we’ll know why this had to happen. I knew deep in my heart he would though.
I got back to his room after all the guys had already arrived. I sat next to Nick on the bed and took his hand in mine.
“So what’s first?” Howie asked who was sitting a crossed the room.
“I, we need to tell you guys something first.” I said. Nick glanced at me nervously and gripped my hand tighter. I knew he wanted them to know as much as I did. I looked for his approval and he smiled. I continued.
“Nick and I are together.” I stated. Looks of disgust crossed Brian and Howie’s faces.
“What the hell,” Aj said out loud.
“This is wrong. This is gross, and it’s just not right!” Bran yelled in our faces. “Are we going to have to be in a group with a bunch of fags?” Howie yelled at us.
My stomach churned. I hadn’t expected this reaction. Nick cried silently beside me. I wrapped my arms around him in attempt to calm him down.
“I want you to either break this off or leave the group!” Brian yelled.
“You two make me sick,” Howie commented.
“You are my fuckin cousin, and you’re my damn best friend. You both disgust me,” Brian turned and stormed out of the room.
AJ continued to sit in his chair biting his nails, not saying anything.
“If it matters for anything, I want you guys gone.” Howie yelled as he left the room.
I tried to calm Nick down who was crying hysterically on my arms.
AJ stood and smiled. “I don’t want either of you to leave the group because I love you both. I’m glad you guys found each other and I’m glad you’re happy. I have no problem with this. It will take some getting used to but its ok. I just hope you guys are serious and you both realized this is forever and not so sexual fling, or something.” AJ said seriously.
“We realize it’s forever,” Nick sad smiling a little.
I smiled down at him. AJ came and hugged us both. “Let me know what you guys decide,” He said softly before he too was gone.
Nick rested his head against my chest and drew patterns with his fingertips.
“I love you,” he whispered softly.
“I love you too, more than anything,”
‘I don’t want to be in the group anymore Kev,” Nick said softly.
“Are you sure baby?” I didn’t want him to have to give up his dream.
“I don’t want to be around people who can’t accept me, and aren’t happy for me that I’ve found my soul mate.” He said honestly.
“Ok, baby we’ll leave.” He smiled and settled back into my arms. We laid like that for a while.
I felt Nick’s body begin to softly shake, and I knew he was crying. “How am I supposed to deal with all of this?” Nick asked. “Why did it have to happen?”
I felt awful for him. I couldn’t imagine what he was going through.
“Someday we’ll know baby, someday we’ll know why it had to happen. Someday we’ll find out why they aren’t ok with us. But as long as I’ve got you by my side I know I can withstand anything,” I whispered soothingly to calm him down. He managed to stop crying and look in my eyes.