Brian was surprised. When he had agreed to meet up with Nick, he thought they would hang out somewhere in the city center, but that was not what Nick had in mind.
Nick looked beautiful when they met at the fountain. It was obvious to Brian that he had spent quite some time to prepare for their appointment. The clothes he wore looked well-made and yet, like all the clothes he had worn so far, they didn't restrict his movement. The red color of Nick's hoodie was a nice contrast to his black jogging-pants.
He looked really good, and Brian spent some time examining him from a distance before he approached. When he came closer, Nick smiled so happily that the warmth of that expression found its way into Brian's heart. They didn’t stay long at the fountain. After their first words of greeting, and after Brian had sent a text to Paul, lying that he would need to stay longer at the café to talk to Kevin, Nick asked Brian to come with him. Then, much to his surprise, Nick led him towards a tram-station.
"Where are we going?" Brian asked, but Nick just smirked.
"It's a surprise. You will see!" Nick spoke with enthusiasm; wherever they were going, Nick couldn't wait to show him.
They traveled west towards Lindenau, the same district where Brian lived, then went further west before they left the train. The station where they got off was on the very edge of the Lindenau district.
"Where are we going?" Brian asked again, looking at Nick curiously and tilting his head.
"There!" Nick pointed towards a building farther down the road.
Curiously, Brian examined the place he was pointing at. It was an old abandoned factory, protected by chain-link fencing. He blinked a little in confusion.
"But, isn't it illegal to go in there?" Brian asked, facing Nick again.
He just shrugged and took Brian by the hand. "Who cares?"
Brian did, but as soon as Nick was holding his hand those worries were forgotten. His hand was so warm and soft. He probably wasn’t someone who did much labor with his hands. The sudden touch surprised Brian and woke his curiosity. He wondered about Nick's intentions, what it was that made him reach out so daringly. So he looked down at the hand that had just taken his and was now dragging him along; perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea to follow.
As they approached their destination, Brian examined the place again. The brick building had two floors and was long. He couldn't see how big it was exactly, because trees and bushes were surrounding the building and were hiding it from his eyes. Right in front of the fence was a tree, too. It was a rather small tree, but it was still tall enough that its branches were hanging over the fence. They approached it.
"We have to climb it to get across," Nick explained when he noticed what Brian was looking at.
"I … don't know. That seems pretty dangerous," he protested.
Nick shook his head. "It will be fine. You'll see!"
He was trying to motivate him, but Brian tensed up anyway. It seemed as if Nick noticed it, because Brian felt that he started to trail his thumb across the back of his hand, probably in an attempt to calm him down. It didn't calm him, but it distracted him. The gentle gesture was so caring that it made the color rise on Brian's cheek. He blushed because it made him feel so good, but he wasn't really happy about it. It wasn't good that Nick made him feel that way, when he had a boyfriend waiting at home. As they took the last steps towards the tree, Brian forced himself to think about Paul.
"I'll go first," Nick said, and grabbed for one of the branches.
Brian watched as Nick put his foot against the trunk and began to pull himself up. The tree had grown in a way that made it easy to climb; it didn't take long for Nick to reach the branch that led across the fence. When he did, he turned around and offered Brian his hand.
"Come, I help you!" Nick said and Brian nodded, reaching for the hand.
With Nick's help, the climbing went rather quickly. He pulled him upwards as Brian followed his previous movements. Soon, they were both on the same branch. All they had to do now was to crawl along its length before jumping down again.
Nick was the first to do so, and he was waiting on the ground as Brian jumped off the tree. He grinned a bit as Brian started to stumble after hitting the ground, but then stepped forwards to grab him by the waist for stability.
"Careful, little monkey," Nick said in a warm voice.
Brian knew that Nick meant well by using a pet name, but it seemed odd to his ears; it was so very German. It had been said so lovingly, though, and Nick was holding him.
Brian chuckled and blushed at the same time.
Nick seemed to be confused by that reaction. "What's so funny?" he asked, blinking a few more times than needed.
"Oh, nothing. Just … I'm a monkey?" Brian giggled again, and shook his head lightly in amusement.
"Yeah, you just climbed a tree, didn't you?" Nick responded, obviously still not aware what made his words so funny.
"Yeah, I guess I did. I guess I did." Brian smiled warmly calming down a little. "It just sounds really cute, nothing a native speaker would say."
Now it was Nick's turn to blush. Brian watched him as he sank his head in embarrassment. For a moment he was silent, and Brian started to feel guilty about mentioning it, but then he raised his head again, smiling brightly.
"Well, you are cute, too, so I think a cute nickname fits you well." Nick smirked as his words caused Brian's cheek to become a deeper shade of red. Nick let go of Brian, before walking towards the building. "Welcome to my castle!"
There was a door on the front; it was frail and the lock had rusted. Nick didn't even need to use much force to pull it open, then he stepped inside and Brian followed right behind him.
"Wow!" the tone of Brian's voice was evidence of the sense of wonder he felt as they made their way inside.
He marveled at the urban beauty this place had. It was old and rundown, but nature had found its way inside. The room they had entered was a large factory floor that was covered in the bright sunlight shining through its broken windows. It had once been filled with big machines, now the only pieces of furniture left were a couch and an armchair standing on the other side of the room. However, what fascinated Brian was how green this place was. Its walls were covered by ivy and, in the corner of the room, shrubs had found their way through cracks.
"It's amazing," Brian said, fascinated by the beauty of the place.
"You should see it in spring, when the flowers are blooming!" Nick answered, and pointed at a patch of grass that was growing near a double door located on the wall to their left.
Brian smiled at that thought, as he walked further into the room towards the furniture. "That couch isn’t old!" Brian said, as he sat down on it, looking towards Nick.
"It isn’t. The first time I was here was at a rave. I guess even ravers need some place to relax." Nick chuckled and sat down on the armchair.
The idea of Nick being at a techno party made Brian giggle. He had imagined the guy listened to all kinds of music — pop, rock, even metal — but techno had not crossed his mind. He just couldn't imagine Nick wearing neon outfits and you had to wear neon outfits to go to a rave, didn't you?
As his giggle turned into a chuckle, Nick looked at him, confused. "Why are you laughing?"
"Just thinking about you in a neon outfit. Probably with some kind of plush fabric!" Brian chuckled a little more and watched Nick for his reaction.
He seemed to be thoughtful a moment, but then he joined in his laughter.
"Yeah, I guess that would look pretty ridiculous, but no, that's not my style. I never went neon!" he explained, and leaned against the back of his seat.
"So, why are we here?" Brian asked again and looked around. "What is this place even?"
It was confusing; why did Nick feel the need to bring him into an abandoned building? They surely could have talked elsewhere.
"Well, this place used to be a textile factory back in the 60s, and I brought you here because I wanted to share it with you." Nick smiled warmly, then added, "I wanted to help you be a little bit more carefree and I wanted to talk to you without anyone butting in. Mm … I guess I also wanted to impress you a little!"
Nick winked as he said that, and Brian felt the butterflies starting to fill his stomach. He had really thought a lot about their meet-up. He had good intentions, that was clear, and it made Brian happy, but the fact that Nick wanted to impress him also made him nervous. "But, you know I have a boyfriend!" he said, and couldn't help but to sound slightly disappointed.
"Yeah, I do. Don't worry, I respect that, but I still want to impress you," Nick answered and winked at him. "You know, when I saw you a few days ago I wanted to meet you right away. I would have approached you then, but my friend Howie held me back. He said I should take my time and be romantic," Nick chuckled. "I don't know if I'm really the romantic type, but I tried my best with the note."
Nick leaned forward again as he spoke, making a point of looking into Brian's eyes. He wanted him to see what he was feeling and what he was thinking. When their eyes met, Brian heard himself gasp. He could see all the emotions Nick described: the attraction he had felt and also the disappointment that followed.
"I was so sad when I realized you had a boyfriend," Nick admitted and sighed, "but then I thought that I could still be your friend. I want to be your friend."
At that confession Brian nodded: "I feel the same. I mean, I want to get to know you, Nick."
For a moment he just examined Nick. He was smiling just like Brian was, obviously enjoying the conversation they were having. It felt good. Spending time together right here and right now was refreshing to Brian. It was so different from his normal rut in life. He welcomed it.
"Well, you do have the chance now. What do you want to know?", Nick asked as he relaxed a little bit.
"Oh, I have so many questions. How old are you? Where are you from? What do you do for a living? Do you like sports? And, oh, even more important, did you like the heart cookies?" The words fell out of Brian’s mouth like a waterfall, causing Nick to chuckle.
"I'm 24 years old, born and raised here in Leipzig. I'm an archaeology student and I love sports of all kinds," Nick smiled warmly as he explained, “and your heart cookies were absolutely wonderful, my dear. Oh, that reminds me! Happy Valentine's Day."
Brian chuckled. He had nearly forgotten that it was the 14th of February. After all, his date with Paul had happened the day before, and today all of his thoughts had been about meeting Nick.
Nick, who was an archaeologist, or a student of that subject at least. That explained how he had so much time to seek him out time and time again. It did not, however, explain his soft hands. Then again, perhaps as a student he had not yet been on that many digs. It fascinated Brian to know what Nick was studying, but it was not a subject he knew much about, so he focused on the one thing he knew quite well.
"I love sports, too. Particularly basketball. Believe it or not, I used to play it all the time back home," Brian spoke with excitement, an excitement that was also shining from his eyes.
Nick laughed. "You're a typical American, then. Basketball, – " He shook his head. " – I love it, too, but it's just not that popular here in Germany. You probably already know that, though. My favorite sport is football! I even play in a team."
It was true. No sport was as popular in Germany as football. When Nick mentioned it, Brian knew he wasn't talking about American football, but about the sport Americans called soccer. It didn't surprise him that Nick loved it. He seemed agile enough to be good at it.
"I wished I could play sports, too." Brian sighed thinking about how he missed working out and playing with others.
"Why don't you?" Nick asked, looking him over.
"My boyfriend doesn't want me to. He thinks it would be wasting the time I have with him." Brian looked to the ground. "So, all I can do is sit at home and grow fatter. Not that he minds." He huffed in frustration and crossed his arms in front of his body.
As he thought about what he had just said, he winced a little. Perhaps he should not have told Nick something that private, but he felt that he wanted to trust him.
"Excuse me that I say that, but your boyfriend sounds weird. to put it mildly," Nick responded and shook his head. "I mean, I don't mind you being chubby and all, but if you hate it as much as I assume you do by your words, then why does he stop you from doing something against it? Does he not want you happy?"
Nick asked a question that hit quite deep, and as Brian heard it, he started to wonder about it. It really was weird how Paul felt about this; it was even a bit mean. On the other hand, Paul only wanted to spend time with him. Was that so bad? Why couldn't he spend time with him and still play sports, though? Wasn't his happiness important?
Brian was confused, and that made him fall silent. He didn't know how to respond to Nick's question, so he didn't. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to pry," Nick said with some compassion in his voice, "– but, hey! Perhaps we can do sports together sometime. Your boyfriend doesn't need to know. He doesn't know about today either, does he?"
The words were gentle, and Brian raised his head as Nick spoke. Even though he felt a little bad about it, Brian thought Nick's idea was great. If Paul didn't know about it, he wouldn't get angry. They could do that; he nodded.
"That sounds great! We could do that after work sometime," Brian suggested.
As Nick nodded, Brian smiled widely. He couldn't wait; they had just decided to do it and he already wanted to start. "Hey, Brian!" Nick called out. "Let me show you the other reason I brought you here!"
That made Brian curious. What else could there be?
He didn't have to wait long, because after clearing his throat and standing up, Nick opened his mouth to sing. Brian was taken aback when he heard it. His voice was so clear and beautiful. He was singing a song called 'Independent Lovesong'. Brian knew it, it was a song from the 90s, but it had never sounded so beautiful.
Entranced by Nick’s voice, Brian's mouth fell open. He hadn’t expected that Nick could sing so well that his voice made goosebumps run all across his skin.
He had indeed chosen the right place to show off his talent; the acoustics of this place were wonderful, almost like those of a church. The music filled his body and soul as Nick sang the whole song and it echoed from the walls. As Nick finished, Brian had to take some time to find his words. He was charmed by Nick; he had been even before he sang, and now he was enchanted.
"That was so beautiful!" Brian finally said.
"I used to sing in school choir," Nick explained, then rubbed the back of his neck.
"You really sound amazing, Nick. You should put that voice to good use!" As Brian said those words, he thought about several options: a band, perhaps a try as a solo artist, but then something else came to his mind.
"You know, if you want to, you could sing at the café. We can't pay you any money, but you could sing for tips, if you'd like."
As Brian suggested that, Nick opened his mouth lightly and raised his chin. For a moment he was silent as if he was thinking, but then he nodded. It seemed like he was interested.
"That sounds great. Where do I sign up?" Nick's words confirmed it.
"My cousin Kev is the boss. We can talk to him about it tomorrow morning, if you have the time!" Brian told him, still smiling.
Nick nodded in response, and allowed himself to drop down next to Brian. "I hope we become colleagues soon!" Nick said and put his arm around Brian’s shoulder. He truly was excited.
"So, you’re saying we won't be friends anymore?" Brian asked, knowing exactly that it was not what Nick had meant.
"Huh? Of course we'll be friends! Why wouldn't we?" He expected the response he got and the confusion in Nick's voice.
"Yeah, I just meant ‘colleagues’ are less like friends and more like people who just work together," Brian explained with a grin that was meant as a hint to Nick that he was teasing him.
In a way, Brian felt a little mean to poke fun at Nick, but on the other hand, he wanted to joke with him. Somehow he got the feeling that Nick could handle his words, since he hadn’t gotten angry when he had teased him about being a 'monkey' either.
"Oh, c'mon. You know what I mean, Brian," Nick said and turned to face him. "I warn you, if you keep making fun of my English, I will stop talking altogether."
Now he was grinning as he gently pulled Brian into a half hug with the arm that was still around his shoulders. Brian playfully gasped at the warning. "Oh. No! You can't do that to me! I'm so curious about all your stories. I bet they are full of totally interesting German things." He grinned and faced Nick mustering up enough courage to softly poke his side.
"Pah!" Nick responded, acting as if he was pouty.
It was obvious though, that he wasn't; his eyes were shining, and after a moment he couldn't hold back on his laughter anymore. Once again, he pulled Brian into a half hug, before he let go of him.
They talked a while longer, about this and that: About Nick's successes in soccer. About Brian's move to Germany, and how the USA and Germany were so completely different. What movies they liked, and many other things. They talked a lot and Brian enjoyed learning a lot about his companion.
As they spoke, they found out how similar they were to one another. They both loved sports, they both loved music, and they liked playing video-games on occasion, but there were also differences. Having grown up in East Germany, Nick was an atheist, whereas Brian firmly believed in God. The German was also way more open about sexual topics.
When he started to talk about first times, Brian blushed. It was embarrassing for him to talk about those kinds of things. Luckily, Nick noted that, and stopped soon after.
Instead, he just sang another song to him, a dirty one that was funny and caused Brian to laugh. After that, Nick fell silent for a while, just closing his eyes and leaning backwards. Brian watched him as he lay there like that. Nick was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen and had put a spell upon him.
When Nick finally spoke that spell broke. "Your boyfriend is so lucky to have you."
Paul!
As Brian was reminded of his boyfriend, he gasped. First, because he felt so bewitched by Nick, when he should only be thinking about Paul, and, second, because he had texted his boyfriend that he would only be an hour late. He had written that three hours ago. "Fuck!" he exclaimed and jumped up from the seat, causing Nick to look confused.
"I'm sorry, Nick, but I have to get home. I told Paul I would be home already," Brian started to panic and looked towards the exit, "He'll be so angry."
Quickly, Brian grabbed for the phone in his pocket. He had to call him. Perhaps everything would be alright if he called him. He found the number, and the phone was dialing it as Brian ran towards the door, leaving Nick sitting dumbfounded on the sofa.
"Hey! At least say good-bye, dude!" he said, not really angry, just mostly confused.
Brian turned to look over his shoulder. "Yeah … uhm … sorry. Bye, Nick! — and thank you for everything." Brian smiled as he spoke. He listened to the phone as he left. Paul wasn't taking the call, not even his mailbox was activated.
"Shit!" Brian swore, and stepped into the fresh air of the evening.
"Brian, do you even know how to get out of here?" Nick called after him, already following.
No, he did not.
Curious to find out what Nick knew, he turned around to look at him. As he did, he noticed Nick passing him, stepping towards the fence.
"It's simple!" Nick said and pulled on the chain-link.
Brian blinked as he saw how easily Nick could move it. He moved it far enough that Brian could crawl through it. It made him wonder.
"Why didn't we take this way for getting inside?" he asked.
Nick shrugged. "It's more fun to use the tree."
He held onto the chain-link as Brian crawled through the hole to the outside. Nick didn't say anything more, but he watched Brian as he turned around again.
"Thank you, Nick, really. It was a beautiful day. I can't wait for us to play some sports and I’ll see you tomorrow. Be safe."
He gave his farewell and waved towards Nick. Then, without waiting for the answer he hurried towards the tram station.
Nick kept standing where he was, looking after Brian. His blue eyes were filled with confusion and worry.
-
When Brian had finally made his way back home, he hurried up the stairs towards their apartment door. He had to see Paul, right now; he had to apologize for being late. Hopefully, he wouldn't be too angry. If he said he had been with Kevin the whole time, then things might be alright.
Quickly, he opened the door. Before he could even step inside, he saw Paul waiting on the other side. He had obviously heard him jogging up the stairs and was here to welcome him. Judging by his expression, it wasn’t going to be a warm welcome.
"Look who finally returned home!" Paul spoke, his voice tinted with anger and followed by a growl. "Where were you?"
He was staring Brian down, causing him to tense up. It was scary. Brian could feel the rage emanating from his boyfriend. Paul had been angry before, but this time it was worse. Brian gasped as he looked up into his boyfriend's pale face.
"I was with Kevin. It took a bit longer!" Brian lied, only increasing the guilt he felt, but there was no way he could tell Paul the truth. However, what he said didn't seem to satisfy his boyfriend. Somehow, it only made him angrier. When Brian slowly stepped inside of the flat and closed the door behind him, Paul narrowed his eyes and closed the remaining gap between them.
As a result, Brian found himself taking a step backwards. Something about the way Paul was acting scared him. Those piercing brown eyes, he had never seen them so cold.
"Liar!" his boyfriend snarled.
Brian was shocked as Paul then grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him towards his chest. Brian lowered his head as he collided with the towering frame of his boyfriend.
"I was at the café. Yeah, Kevin was there, but you were not!" Paul explained while he was still holding firmly onto the wrist of Brian’s right arm.
There was no way he could free himself; Paul was way taller and stronger than him. Instead, Brian tried to make himself as small as possible in an attempt to escape Paul's wrath.
It didn't work.
Brian’s eyes grew wide as Paul raised his other hand in the air. His boyfriend was building up some momentum before he let it fly down towards Brian. As his open hand collided with Brian’s face, the force was strong enough to make him stumble, but Paul still was holding his wrist, keeping him in place.
The sudden violence was a shock. Paul had been rough before, but never like this. It hurt so much both physically and emotionally, and Brian couldn't help but to moan in pain. Paul however wasn't done.
Once again, he raised his hand.
"Stop!" Brian called out, but the hand was already flying.
Before it hit the other cheek, Brian closed his eyes firmly as if it would protect him. It did not. Where the hand hit the skin it felt like burning fire and there had been some force behind it. The strength of the slap made Brian feel dizzy. He could taste iron on his tongue; his lower lip was bleeding quite profusely.
"You fucking liar!" Paul repeated with a growl, his eyes still burning with rage. "Who were you out with? Who did you cheat with? Who was it, Brian?"
Paul was fuming. When did he become so frightening?
As the pain in his face pulsated and fear had him in a stranglehold, Brian started to cry. The tears were running down his cheek by the time Paul dragged him along into the living room. Brian didn't know what was still to come, but thinking about it made his body shiver. "Please, Paul, stop!" The voice that escaped Brian’s mouth was desperate and begging, but it fell on deaf ears. Paul just huffed, then gave him a strong shove, finally releasing his wrist. It caused Brian to stumble and fall. His back collided with the table and sharp pain shot through his body. Then he slumped to the ground. Fear became panic as Brian saw Paul towering above him. Brian had a sense of foreboding that shook his whole body. It pushed him to fold his hands to beg.
"Please no, Paul! I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I will never lie to you again!" His voice was painted with tears and sadness.
For a moment, as Paul was examining him, it seemed like he was listening, but his eyes were still burning with anger. "See, Brian. I don't understand it. I was waiting for you; I even made a candlelit dinner. It's Valentine's Day, did you know?" Paul looked down at him as he spoke. "Then you don't show up, and I travel into the city to the café to see what is taking you so long. You were not there Brian; where were you?"
The words hit a nerve. He had been bad; he had lied to Paul, made him angry. Despite the pain he felt in his lower back and despite his face burning like hell, he slowly raised from the ground.
"I'm sorry, Paul. I was walking through the city along the Elster River. I … I wanted to do something about my weight and I lost track of time." Brian told yet another lie that made him feel guilty.
Paul wouldn't like the idea of him exercising, but it was better than telling him about Nick. He didn't know what would happen if his boyfriend found out he had been with another guy. He felt it would make him furious.
Paul huffed, "Again, babe?" He frowned. "I thought we had talked about it. You are fine the way you are." He sighed then stepped closer.
After a moment of hesitation, Paul reached out to him and pulled him into a hug. "You have to stop that. I don't like it; I told you. Be a little more mindful of me," he said gently, and Brian felt his shivering body calm down. "I love you! You know that, but you shouldn’t make me angry like that all the time," he added. As Brian heard those words, he knew Paul was speaking the truth. Had he not been with Nick, Paul would never have raged like that, and he would not have been hit.
"I'm sorry," he said in a meek voice, and leaned back to eye his lover.
"It's alright; you are just thinking silly things — " Paul examined him a little. " — and now it has you bleeding. Here, let me take care of that."
His boyfriend got a handkerchief from his jeans pocket and brought it up to his lips to wipe the blood away. "I'm sorry it went this far, but you made me so angry." Paul moved the piece of cloth along his lip then pulled it back. "You know you shouldn't tell anyone about it; they don't need to know! It's just between you and me."
He was looking deeply into Brian's eyes trying to drive his point home. There was something threatening in that look, and it made it clear to Brian that Paul lashing out was nothing he could talk about, not that he had planned to before. It was his fault; had he not been so silly to spend time with another man, Paul wouldn’t have hit him.
"I won't tell; I promise. I'm … I'm just so sorry, Paul!" he said as new tears started to take shape in his eyes.
Sadness held him as Paul pulled him up against his chest, patting his back to make him feel better. "It's okay, babe. It's okay. Just don't do it again," he said and slowly released him from the hug. "Now, I think you should go to bed and get some sleep. You need it; you are so confused."
As Paul stepped away from him, Brian nodded. He was still crying when he made his way to their bedroom. The pain was still pulsating in both his cheeks and his lower back, but it was his fault. After Brian had undressed and climbed into the bed alone, he thought about the day that had passed. The time with Nick had been great, but he regretted it now. He should have been here with Paul, but he left him alone, on Valentine's Day of all days. As he closed his eyes, he swore that he would never betray his boyfriend like this again and hoped the pain he felt would soon pass.