Friday had finally arrived. For the café that meant business picked up a little. There still were not nearly as many customers as there used to be, but it was still busier than the days before. Only now that the day was finally over had it calmed down again.
While AJ and Kev were working inside, Brian was cleaning up the tables that stood in front of the building. It felt good to be outside where he could enjoy the fresh evening breeze. Winter was finally on its last breaths and spring was about to arrive. The warmth of the day was evidence of the fact. It had been warm enough that customers had sat outside, thus Brian had a bit to do.
He was carefully cleaning one of the tables with a wet cloth, when he felt someone tugging on the collar of his shirt.
"Mh, what do we have here?" it was AJ's voice and he poked a red mark on Brian's throat — a hickey left by Paul.
"AJ! Stop it," Brian called out, pulling away from his best friend quickly. "It's embarrassing!" he added, in an almost silent voice.
Perhaps he should have been proud of it, but the reason why it had been placed on him made it difficult to feel that way; he had made Paul so angry. As it was, it was a reminder of his failures as a boyfriend. Gently, he put the palm of his hand over the spot and turned to face AJ.
"Ah, c'mon, Bri, don't be like that. You're lucky; Paul loves you so much! He's a good guy. I wish my girlfriend would be that passionate."
AJ smiled and threw one arm around Brian’s shoulder, pulling him into a short half-hug.
"Yeah … I'm lucky," Brian repeated as he thought about it.
Was he really that lucky? Things between him and Paul were so difficult; they had been arguing so much recently. He hated the fact that he somehow always managed to set his lover off.
"You don't sound convinced!" AJ said, perceiving Brian’s doubts quickly.
"Well, you see, things with Paul are tense sometimes. We argue a lot recently." Brian’s words were quite meek.
It made no sense to hide stuff from AJ. As his best friend, he was pretty good at reading him, anyhow, so hiding it didn’t really work. It felt way better to be honest.
"Why?" was the question AJ directed at Brian, as he stepped around him to look directly at Brian’s face.
"I think it mostly has to do with me. I’ve been kind of difficult." Brian pressed his lips to a line and looked down at the washing cloth in his hand.
Had he not been late yesterday, and had it not been for his persistence about wanting to play sports and losing weight, Paul would have never gotten angry, and things would have been wonderful. There was no doubt in Brian’s mind that the current trouble he was facing with his boyfriend was his own fault.
AJ looked him over for a moment, then shook his head before pulling him into a deeper hug this time.
"Don't blame yourself, Rok; we all have a lot of stress recently with the café and everything. Paul probably knows that, too," AJ assured him. Not releasing Brian from the hug, he patted his back caringly.
"Mhh … I hope you are right Aje," Brian sighed, speaking quietly, a little lost in thought.
Slowly, Brian rested his chin on AJ's shoulder; it felt good to have someone care that way for him. Ever since they had left America, it felt as if AJ was about the only person who he could trust like that, the only person that felt like a shoulder to lean on.
Of course, he had Kevin as well but even though he was family, the fact that Kevin had so much stress with owning the café made it difficult for Brian to speak to him at times. He had learned to keep a professional distance from his cousin.
With AJ, it was different. They both had the same position on the shop, the same worries and issues, and they had been best friends for a while.
"All will be fine; you’ll see," AJ confidently said, before he pulled out of the hug. "Anyway, I'm going back inside," he added and turned to leave.
Now without anyone to hug him, Brian let his shoulders fall forward.
"I'll finish up these tables, and join you," he called after AJ.
It was about time to have their weekly meeting. They spoke about the past week – things that happened with customers, what went well, what went badly – a review. They always did that on Fridays after closing up the place. Before they could start, though, they needed to finish cleaning up, so Brian bent down over the table again to continue wiping.
Just as he was about to finish the table, someone suddenly stepped up behind him and put their hands in front of his eyes.
"AJ!" Brian exclaimed, immediately standing up, "Stop it! I thought you went inside?"
Really, he had no time for silliness right now. He needed to finish cleaning the tables; it already was taking much longer than he had planned.
"Who is AJ?" a voice made its way into Brian’s ear.
It wasn't AJ.
That voice, he remembered it from the day before. Much to his dismay, he suddenly felt the speed of his heartbeat increasing as he turned around to look at the owner of the hands.
There he was, way too close – Nick, the blond beauty that hadn’t left his thoughts ever since he had met him the first time. Now he stood here, right in front of him. Brian could feel Nick’s breath hitting his cheek.
It didn't take long for Brian to feel guilty again. With Nick that close, he felt quite weak all of a sudden, and so totally attracted to him, but it was wrong. He shouldn't feel that way when he had a boyfriend waiting for him back home.
"Oh … um … hi, Nick. What are you doing here?" Brian finally spoke, not even able to hide the nervousness in his words.
Nick slowly stepped backwards and crossed his arms. Today he wasn’t drenched with water, at least, but that didn't make him any less sexy. The clothes he wore were stylish: a black leather jacket and a white shirt below it. Brian’s attention, however, was really caught by his washed-out jeans; they were too tight to leave anything up to imagination. Brian couldn't stop himself from blushing. He wasn't sure if Nick noticed, but the fact that he started to grin made Brian worry he did.
"Well, you didn't call, and so I thought I'd come by and ask why not?" Nick responded, keeping his arms crossed.
Right, the message he had left him. Brian looked shyly to the ground as he remembered it. He had taken it, but it had not been his intention to ever call. Then again, he had not expected the blond to show up again if he didn’t.
As much as he would have loved to speak with Nick on the phone, Brian just had not been able to do it. It would have felt too much like cheating to do that.
So, after a moment of hesitation he gave Nick an apologetic look. "Uh … well … you see. I'm flattered and everything, but I do have a b— "
"— A boyfriend, yeah. With a hickey like that, it's not hard to see." Nick didn't let him finish and he grinned, leaning in again to pull on the collar of Brian’s shirt at just the same spot AJ had pulled.
That closeness made Brian shiver; he couldn't stop his body from reacting. The tiniest of goosebumps started to form all over his skin, while his cheeks started to sport a deep red colour.
Nick smirked again and looked deep into his eyes, making Brian breathe in deeply. That wonderful blue colour he saw in that gaze was not unlike his own eye color, but it seemed so much more beautiful. He got lost in there a moment, as Nick spoke on.
"I still want to get to know you better, though. Boyfriend or not," Nick said with some determination, confusing Brian.
Until now Brian had thought that the blond had only been looking for romance, and yet he still wanted to see him, despite the fact he had a boyfriend. It made no sense.
So Brian tilted his head to the side curiously and raised his voice again, "Huh? But why?"
"Just because I want to hang out with you. I think we would get along quite well," Nick admitted, and this time it was him who looked Brian over.
The way the blond was looking at him mostly seemed curious. Perhaps he was right. They seemed to be about the same age and Brian felt quite happy talking to him. He felt drawn to Nick, wanted to be with him and get to know him better. Yet, when he thought about Paul, he knew that it would be hard to do so.
"I don't think that’s such a good idea," Brian said with a slight resignation, but Nick didn't want to let the topic rest.
"C'mon, your boyfriend would not mind you making friends, would he? " the blond asked and crossed his arms again, as if he was challenging him.
"Paul is … " Brian found himself starting the sentence.
No, he couldn't say that. He was glad that he was able to stop himself from speaking in time, but it still left him shocked. He had nearly talked about Paul's jealousy, and to an almost stranger, at that. Oddly enough, he felt as if he could trust Nick with that info, but it wasn't right; Nick shouldn't hear about his troubles with his boyfriend. It was too private.
It would have been better to just tell Nick to leave him alone. He should have done it, but when he looked at the blond again, all he wanted to do was to get closer to him.
So despite his best intentions, he lied. "No, he wouldn't mind."
Brian shook his head to underline his words, which caused Nick to smile widely again.
"Fine, then. How long do you work tomorrow?" Nick immediately wanted to know, now shining with happiness.
"’Til 4 in the afternoon." Brian gave him his schedule and examined him carefully, wondering what was going on in the blond's mind.
He had an idea where this was going, but he didn't know what to think about it. The only thing that he knew was that he didn't want to stop it.
"Alright, how about we hang out after? I'll meet you there!" Nick said, and pointed at a huge fountain not too far from the café.
It was a beautiful thing; Brian admired it every morning when he came to work, but right now he couldn't think about the wonderful picturesque scenery. That man — Nick — wanted to see him. Nick really did want to see him; hang out with him, even. He wanted to become his friend. Somehow, it filled his heart with warmth.
— but when Paul popped up in his mind again all he could do was sigh.
"I don't know," Brian said, well aware that his boyfriend would get mad if he found out that he was even speaking with another guy who wanted to get to know him.
"Just for an hour, Brian. Please! It would make me so happy." Nick wasn't one to give up that easily, it seemed.
He even folded his hands as he pleaded, as if he was begging. Brian thought it was kind of cute; how could he deny a request asked as sweetly as that?
So, Brian found himself speaking. "Alright, just for an hour, though."
As soon as Brian’s words were spoken, Nick had a shining smile again. He seemed to be truly happy that Brian had agreed to meet with him. He was so delighted that he even clapped his hands once, like a child that just got his Christmas present. It was so charming, that Brian couldn't help but to smile himself.
"You won't regret it! See you tomorrow!" Nick said with shining eyes, then turned around.
"Hey, wait!" Brian heard himself calling before he could think about it.
He didn't want the blond to leave yet, but Nick just turned quickly to look over his shoulder. He waved lightly and winked, before continuing on his way.
As that beautiful person stepped away into the distance, Brian blushed again and whispered, "Bye, Nick!" He couldn't wait to see him again tomorrow.
By the time Nick vanished around a corner in the distance, Brian was already back to cleaning tables. Without any further distractions, it didn't take long for him to finish them off. After a last look over the furniture surrounding him, Brian nodded and walked back inside.
He expected Kevin and AJ to be the only ones waiting for him, but to his surprise there was somebody else, as well.
"Paul, what are you doing here?" Brian asked in confusion, as he saw his boyfriend.
Paul was dressed in his best suit, and he had tied his long hair into a ponytail. He looked good; there was no denying that. Brian’s boyfriend had the looks of a model; he was tall and slim, but still strong; and he had piercing brown eyes. He was beautiful. At Brian’s question, he smiled a little.
"Surprise! I want to take you on a date," Paul said, and stepped closer, pulling Brian into a hug and looking down into his eyes.
He was obviously trying to be comforting and caring, but all Brian could think about was where Paul had come from. Had he been outside when he had been talking to Nick?
"When did you come? I didn't see you," Brian asked, a little agitated.
He truly hadn’t seen him come in, even though he should have. When Brian realized he hadn’t because he had been so focused on Nick outside, he felt nervous. What if Paul had noticed them there? What would he be thinking?
"Yeah, I saw you were busy with that customer and didn't want to disturb you, so I just went inside," Paul said.
So, he had seen them? Brian looked into his eyes, trying to find a hint of anger or jealousy. Luckily, he didn't find any, so Paul probably had not heard what he had talked about with Nick. Brian felt relieved.
"He came here like five minutes ago," AJ explained with a soft smile as he watched them.
"Oh. I'm sorry I didn't see you," Brian said, still looking up into Paul's eyes.
He needed to apologize; it wasn’t right to not notice his boyfriend. Paul wouldn’t like it, and Brian was sure he would get angry with him if he didn't apologize. Well, he would when they were back home since, as Paul always said, AJ and Kev didn't need to know about their problems.
"It's alright, babe. I know you get lost in your work a lot, but hey! Here, take this." Much to Brian’s surprise, Paul did not show even the tiniest bit of anger.
Instead, he handed him the plastic bag he was holding, and as he did so, his lover seemed to be very happy. He was even smiling the smile Brian had fallen in love with.
Paul examined him for a moment, before he leaned down to give him a loving kiss, pulling his lower lip along gently as they parted. As they did, Brian felt his knees get weak and he leaned into Paul a little bit more, putting his head against his chest. For a while, he stayed that way, just enjoying the closeness, but then he pulled back to look into the plastic bag handed to him.
"My suit?" Brian asked, looking at it neatly folded inside of the plastic bag.
"Yep! I can't have you going to an opera with me dressed like that." Paul gestured at his work clothes, then grinned a bit.
"An opera?!" Brian asked, zeroing in on what he thought was the most important part of Paul's words.
The simple idea of it made Brian smile widely. He loved music, all kinds; classical music just as much as modern. Going to an opera was a beautiful gift for him. Paul must really care for him, if he came up with such a great present. AJ was right; he was a good man.
"Yep, Mozart's The Magical Flute is playing at the opera. I wanted to take you on Valentine's Day, but I could only get tickets for today. I hope you don't mind?" Paul said, seeming a little disappointed with himself.
Brian shook his head firmly. It didn't matter to him if it was Valentine's Day or not. Who said you only could be romantic on that particular day? Paul truly loved him and he had planned such a beautiful date. Brian didn't care that it happened on the day before Valentine's Day.
"Oh, babe! Of course I don't!" Brian said and went on tiptoe to put another kiss on the corner of Paul's lips.
His boyfriend smirked.
"Get dressed then, the show already starts in half-an-hour; we should be going," he said, pretending to scold Brian.
The opera wasn't that far away, but Brian still felt like he should hurry. He hesitated, though, because his work wasn't done yet; they still had to review the past week. So, Brian looked questioningly at AJ and Kev.
"It's alright, Bri, we can talk about last week without you," his cousin said, giving him a smile.
AJ nodded as well.
So, everything was fine, he could go without needing to worry. His mind already drifted away to all the things he knew about The Magical Flute, which wasn't much. He knew just one of its arias and from that he only knew the melody, not the lyrics. He couldn't wait to see it and find out the whole story!
"Th-Thank you, guys!" Brian said, smiling brightly, then hurried up the stairs to the changing room.
It took a while for Brian to slip into his good clothes; he wanted to look presentable, so he was careful as he put on the suit, taking care that it lay just right and didn't show too many wrinkles. He sighed as he noticed that the shirt was tighter on his belly than he remembered it. It was easy enough to button, but it showed off every extra pound he was carrying. Once again, he was frustrated by the pounds he had gained. Once again, they made him feel unhappy.
He had no choice but to put up with it, though. His tailcoat could be closed but then it would look tight as well. Leaving it open revealed the shirt. Either option was bad in his opinion, but it was not like there was any solution to the problem. With a huff, he finally decided to just keep it open.
At least it didn't feel as uncomfortable as the pants he put on. Brian could only just button them, and when he did, they felt really tight. It felt like a constant reminder about his weight gain.
When he was dressed, he took a moment to brush his hair and get it just right. At least that was something he had control over, so he made sure that it was as perfect as it could be. Perhaps he was a bit vain, sometimes.
When he finally felt satisfied, he made his way back downstairs to Paul.
"You look beautiful, babe," was the first thing his boyfriend called out when he saw Brian stepping down the stairs.
Brian didn't feel beautiful, but he had realized by now that Paul liked him that way. He wanted him to be chubby. It was nothing that he liked himself, but it was also nothing he wanted to discuss at the moment.
"Not compared to you!" he said instead and reached out to take Paul's hand as he offered it to him.
"Don't be silly, you are the most beautiful thing in the world!" His long-haired lover seemed so sure of it.
Perhaps Brian was beautiful to him and wasn't that lovely, for someone to look at him and feel like there was nothing more beautiful in the world? It made him feel loved. For once, Paul made him feel as if he was worth something.
"Paul!" Brian said in light protest, cause he couldn’t bring himself to share his beliefs concerning his looks.
"What? It's the truth! Now, come, let's go." It didn't seem like Paul wanted to discuss it, either, and Brian knew better than to keep talking about it.
Instead, he just stayed silent and nodded. He debated for a moment going to find AJ and Kev to say good-bye to them, but he didn't want to keep Paul waiting longer than needed. Brian could see he was already impatient, it wasn't wise to stress him.
So, he was careful not to slow them down as Paul lead him along out of the shop, down the street to the other side of the city center. The opera house was located on the northern side of Augustusplatz, across from the Gewandhaus. The buildings were quite different in their design. The Gewandhaus was quite modern. It had a huge glass facade and he could see the ceiling inside, covered with pictures. He had never been inside, but he always wanted to go. Between the opera house and Gewandhaus, it was the one whose design he preferred.
But Mozart was playing at Leipzig's Opera. It was a huge building, pretty and clean, not really historic or richly decorated like buildings of the Renaissance. Brian guessed it was built sometime during the cold war. Somehow, it seemed a little bit intimidating, and it only got worse the closer Paul lead him to it and the higher the building seemed to be towering above them. Paul lead them inside, obviously knowing his way around. He also was holding their tickets and showed them when asked. They made their way into the big concert hall. Quite a few guests had already arrived, and Brian looked at them curiously, while Paul pulled him along to their seats.
Not all of the faces were friendly. Most of them ignored them, a few smiled, but he could also see some people, especially older couples, giving them scowls or irritated looks. It was to be expected; they were two men holding hands. As much as Brian hated it, homophobia was still more wide spread than it should be.
He huffed and leaned his head against Paul's shoulder. He would not allow those people to ruin his night. Finally Paul found their seats, and together they sat down.
They were sitting on the balcony, in the third row from the front. Where they were sitting, they had a great view of the stage, which still was behind the closed curtain.
"Thank you, Paul," Brian said in a calm voice, as he looked at him for a moment, smiling warmly.
Paul didn't respond with words, but he returned the smile and put his arm around Brian’s shoulder, pulling him a little closer. The show would soon start.
-
It was wonderful. After the opera ended, Brian was still so full of emotions that he had tears in his eyes. The singers had all been so talented; their performances had touched his heart.
"Did you like it?" Paul asked in a gentle voice as he lead them outside under the evening sky.
"I did. I loved it. It was such a beautiful story, so full of love," Brian responded without hesitation. He thought about the story, about how every character had found their match and soulmate. It made him wonder if it was like that with him and Paul, if they were destined for each other. Thoughtfully. he looked his boyfriend over and smiled; it must be that way.
"Mozart is my favorite composer!" Paul explained, as he continued leading him along.
As they reached the tram-station at the center of the plaza, Brian was about to stop — after all they had to take a tram from here if they wanted to go home — but Paul dragged him along past the station.
"Where are we going?” he asked, looking around the plaza and blinking. "We have to take the tram; don't we?"
Paul chuckled. "Sure we do, but not yet. I want to go out eat with you. Come with me!"
So their date wasn't over? Paul had really planned this night out. Brian smiled widely and hugged Paul's arm a little closer. He was excited, and that excitement grew for a while — until he realized exactly where they were going.
Paul was leading them directly towards one of the two skyscrapers in Leipzig. The one that the locals called 'Weisheitszahn', which meant ‘wisdom tooth,’ based on its weird shape. It was supposed to symbolize an open book, because it once belonged to the university, and also because Leipzig was a city of books, but it didn't do a very good job of looking like one.
Brian slowed down a little as Paul lead him along; he knew that the only restaurant in that place was on the top floor. "Paul, I'm scared. You know I don't like heights!" he protested and attempted to make his boyfriend stop, but to no avail.
"Don't worry. I'll be with you; I'll hold you tight. Nothing can happen to you," his lover responded, and, as if to show Brian that he meant it, pulled him into a tight hug.
It was impressive how protective he was, and Brian didn't want to destroy the beauty of the night. It had been so great. He didn't want to once again be the person to mess everything up, so he just gave in.
"A-alright," he stuttered, just as Paul lead them inside and towards the elevators.
He could feel his hands getting sweaty already when they entered the lift. The building was not anywhere close to as tall as the American skyscrapers he had seen before. With only 34 floors, it was rather small in comparison, but for Brian it was enough to make him feel queasy and anxious.
As the elevator started to rise, Brian put his arms around Paul's waist holding tightly onto him and closing his eyes. He kept them shut until they stopped and the doors in front of them opened.
When they slid open Brian could see a fancy restaurant, inviting and designed beautifully. Paul bent down and put a kiss on his forehead before he moved into the room. He pulled Brian to a free table, that thankfully was far away from the windows. Brian still felt uncomfortable, but he slowly started to relax, after taking the seat opposite his boyfriend.
"So, I wanted to apologize, that I got so angry yesterday, love. You see, I just value our time together a lot, and I felt you were threatening that," Paul said, causing Brian to blink.
He had not expected him to bring up yesterday, again. By now, Brian knew he had been at fault for it himself, so Paul's apology confused him. Of course, he didn't like it when Paul was angry, but Paul had his reasons for it. It felt bad to know what Paul had been thinking.
"I didn't mean to do that. You know I love … I love you and I love this! Spending time with you!" It was all he could say.
He had not meant to make Paul feel like their time together was threatened; it was not what he wanted. He wanted to spend as much time together with him as he could, but he just missed sports so much.
"I know, still —" Paul looked down to the table as the waiter came and brought them the menu. He took one of the two books and handed the other to Brian. "— I just don't want you to spend more time away from me than necessary. Can you promise that?" he continued, and reached out across the table to take one of Brian’s hands.
"Of course I promise you," Brian responded; it was the least he could do.
It was what he had to do. As Paul had said, if he wanted their relationship to work, Brian had to do something as well. If that meant giving up on doing sports again, then it had to be that way.
Paul was smiling widely at his response, seemingly satisfied.
"Then all will be fine. I love you, too, Brian," he said and brought Brian’s hand up to his lips, placing a single kiss there before looking back into his eyes. "So, what do you want to eat?"
The question caused Brian to look at the menu. It wasn't that long. They had a few interesting specialties, but he didn't feel like anything fancy today. As much as he would have loved to test out ostrich meat, he decided against it, because there was something else on the menu that made his mouth water just reading it.
"The potato stew sounds really good, and a glass of water, please," he decided, then read the menu item again. Yes, it was the right choice.
Carefully, he looked back up to Paul to see how he would react to his request. Brian saw that he was still smiling. Paul nodded at Brian’s choice, then looked back into the menu to make one for himself.
As the waiter came, Paul was ordered for both of them. He ordered the potato stew, and asked for a baked chicken dish for himself. It didn't take that long for the food to arrive. While they waited, Brian told Paul everything about his work day and the problems with the jazz café next door. Paul just listened, trying to comfort him at times by gently squeezing his hand.
"It will be alright!" Paul kept repeating, trying to reassure him, trying to make Brian feel better. He didn't stop to holding his hand until the waiter arrived with their food.
Just as Brian had expected, the food was delicious. It was a fancy restaurant, probably with one of the best cooks in town. He enjoyed every spoon of his stew, and Paul wasn't complaining either. Paul chuckled a little when he noticed how quick Brian was eating.
"Seems to be good, yeah?" Paul asked, causing Brian to blush and slow down considerably.
"Yeah, it's really, really good," Brian mumbled, a bit ashamed, but then continued to eat.
Soon their plates were empty, and Paul called for the waiter to pay. It was not surprising that he gave him a big tip; Paul had always been generous. When they had first met at the café, he had tipped Brian just as fancily.
Brian smiled lovingly at his boyfriend as he watched him. He truly was a good guy.
It had been a long time since he had felt that much love for his boyfriend, and Brian was still feeling it as they left the restaurant, as they made their way into the night, and when they were entering the tram that would bring them home.
Everything was wonderful as Brian cuddled up to Paul, as they sat down next to each other on the train. He was so happy, and he enjoyed how Paul trailed the index finger of his right hand along his cheeks down to his jawline.
Everything Paul did felt like a tiny explosion of warmth on his skin. Everything, that is, until Brian felt Paul's left hand on his belly. There it was again, the thing that was so weird to Brian. Paul was rubbing his belly gently, loving it, when there was nothing to love about it.
"Paul … don't," he said quietly, so nobody else in the tram would hear him.
"What do you mean?" was the response he got, and then he saw Paul staring him down.
It was alright to be touched on the face. That felt good, but he didn't like his belly; he didn't feel comfortable with it. He hated it when Paul touched him there, and here in the tram it was even worse, because everybody could watch them. So he leaned in and whispered into Paul's ear, admitting, "I don't like to be touched there. It's embarrassing." He looked shyly away from him, just as Paul narrowed his eyes.
"Don't be silly, Brian. I love you, all of you, every tiny pound. Your little belly is cute. How can I not want to touch it? We had such a nice night. Don't ruin it," he said, and as if to prove a point, only rubbed Brian’s belly more firmly.
The touch made Brian shudder, but the words made his stomach turn. Once again, he found himself complaining about Paul's actions when he shouldn't have. Once again, Paul was right, he was destroying a night that had been so beautiful. He didn't want to be that person.
"I … " he started, then looked up again into Paul's eyes. As he caught the anger in them, he lowered his head.
He gave in, "Alright," he spoke and closed his eyes.
Perhaps it would feel less embarrassing, if he couldn't see the other people in the tram. Perhaps it would feel less disgusting, if he just thought about something else.
As Paul kept rubbing his tummy with one hand, while the other started to play with Brian’s hair, the smaller man dreamed himself away. He dreamed about the night he had enjoyed with Paul and the beautiful opera he had seen. Then, found himself dreaming about Nick. As he was enchanted by the blond guy smiling in front of his inner eye, Brian once again felt guilty.