Feedback: Yes please. All greatly received. Warnings: Slash fic. Disclaimer: I do not know anyone mentioned in this fic. It’s come from my own twisted mine etc AN: Thanks to Ange, my wonderful Beta without whom I’d be lost.
He stared down at the empty glass in his hand, wondering why he didn’t remember drinking it. He motioned to the bartender to bring him another and as it was placed in front of him a voice interrupted.
“I think you’ve had enough Nick.”
“Fuck you Kevin. I came here to get drunk and since I can only see one of you it obviously means I’m not drunk enough yet.” He downed his drink, shuddering as the sharp liquid stung his throat. He slammed the glass down, immediately ordering another. He downed that one as quick as the first, and was about to order yet another when a hand grabbed at his wrist.
“That’s enough Nick. You’re coming back to the hotel with me.”
“The hell I am.”
“Nickolas.”
Nick inwardly winced. Kevin only ever called him that when he was really angry.
“There is no point sitting here drowning your sorrows, it won’t get you anywhere and you know it. I know you’re hurting, but…”
“But nothing Kev. You know shit.”
Kevin’s voice softened. “I know you’re hurting Nick, and I know why. Did you honestly think he was anything but completely straight? I mean, come on Nick. Let’s be honest here.”
Nick rolled his eyes and tried to push himself away from the bar, stumbling as he did so. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“You can’t keep bottling it up, it’s not good for you.”
“Well you’re not my therapist so why do you care? Oh yeah, that’s right, I hit on your precious fucking cousin, I may tear the group apart.. Blah fucking blah.”
“Nick, please. You know I care about you.”
“Whatever” Nick mumbled as he pushed his way through the throngs of people towards the exit of the club. He stumbled down the front steps, twisting his ankle and knocking the side of his face against the cold concrete floor. Before he could move, a pair of strong arms hoisted him back up to his feet.
“I can look after myself” he snapped. “I don’t need a babysitter.”
Kevin sighed. There was no point trying to talk to Nick when he was in this state. He grabbed hold of Nick’s arm as he watched him sway and almost fall again. “Come on, let’s get you back to the hotel before you do yourself anymore damage.”
“Like anyone would care” Nick said, still extremely pissed off at the world and everyone in it.
By the time they got back to the hotel he had sobered up a little, the pain from his fall now slowly creeping in. He hissed as he put pressure on his ankle to walk, slapping Kevin’s arm away when he tried to assist him.
“I don’t need your help.”
He made his way up to his room carefully, not daring to look Kevin in the eyes. As he fumbled for his key card, he felt his eyes tearing up and cursed to himself for drinking vodka. He knew it made him more emotional yet he still drank it. After the third attempt at trying to open his door he became frustrated, kicking at the door and then yelping in pain. His card was snatched from his hand and in seconds Kevin had pushed him through the door before slamming it shut behind them.
“Get undressed Nicky” Kevin said, heading to the bathroom. Once Nick was stripped to his boxers, Kevin returned with a wash cloth in his hands.
“What are you.. Ouch” Nick said as Kevin cleaned up the wound on face. After washing out the cloth and putting antiseptic cream on the cut, he knelt down on the floor in front of Nick, who was now sat down on the edge of the bed.
“Let me have a look at your ankle” he ordered quietly.
Nick knew better than to do as he was told and lifted his leg a little. Kevin took his foot in his hands, running his fingers over his ankle bone gently. It was already starting to swell and was slightly purple too. “We might need to get this checked out tomorrow” Kevin said.
“I’ll be fine. I know we have a show, I won’t mess things up for you so don’t worry.”
“I’m more worried about you Nicky” Kevin replied, hesitation laced in his voice.
“I’m fine.”
“Clearly you’re not Nicky. You’ve been out getting yourself drunk for over a week now. I wish you would talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about” Nick said flatly, turning himself away from Kevin and slipping under the bed sheets.
“I beg to differ. I know something happened between you and Brian. Neither of you will talk to anyone about it. I know you think you’re in love with him Nicky, but…”
“Don’t baby me Kevin. I don’t think anything. This is exactly my problem. No one takes me seriously, you all still treat me as though I’m a child. Well newsflash, I’m an adult, have been for some time. I made a mistake, big friggin do. I’ll get over it because that’s what I do. Now I think you should go. I’m tired.”
Kevin said no more. He pressed a soft kiss to Nick’s forehead and then left quietly, much to Nick’s surprise. This had been their routine every night for the last week and each night Kevin would push and push to get him to talk. But not tonight.
“I guess he’s given up on me too” Nick said to himself. He closed his eyes tightly, not wanting to cry anymore. He turned over to his side and tried to will himself to sleep. As he lay there, his mind wandered back to that night.
*Flashback*
“What are you… Nick, what was that?” Brian said, his face full of shock and disgust.
“I’m sorry Brian, I didn’t mean.. I wasn’t thinking, it won’t happen again.”
“You’re damn right it won’t. I’m with Leighanne first of all, and secondly I’m not….”
“Not what Brian?” Nick stood across the room from Brian, his arms crossed over his chest, his heart racing. It had taken all of his nerve to make a move on Brian, a quick press of lips that was now about to change his life.
“I’m not a queer, and I didn’t ever…”
Nick didn’t hear anymore. He was in complete shock at the words leaving what he thought was his best friend. He felt his throat begin to close up and his eyes stinging with unshed tears.
“Nick… Nick…”
He looked up at Brian, who was still stood at a safe distance from him.
“Was it something I did?”
“What?” Nick frowned, he’d obviously missed something.
“Did I do something to make you this way.”
Nick shook his head in disbelief. In all the scenarios he had run through his head, this certainly hadn’t been one of them. When he next looked up, Brian was in front of him, hand on his arm. “It’ll be ok Nick, we can help you.”
Nick slapped Brian’s hand away, the tears now streaming down his face. “Don’t ever fucking touch me again Brian. You are… I can’t even… you’re homophobic.”
“Nick please, don’t say such…”
“No, fuck you Brian.”
Nick stormed out of the room in a flood of tears, his heart shattered.
*End of flashback*
Even now the pain in his heart fell fresh. He could have handled the rejection if it was purely because Brian didn’t want him, but he had never, ever, in a million years, have guessed that Brian was homophobic. It tore him to pieces that his best friend felt that way. Not only had he bared his soul to Brian, the first and only person he would ever tell his secret too, but it was thrown back at him. He had lost his best friend along with the chance of happiness. A small sob escaped his lips as his thought of his life without Brian. He couldn’t bear the thought of it.
“Nick.”
A voice startled him out of his thoughts and he choked back another sob, hurriedly wiping away the tears from his face.
“K..Kevin?” he stuttered. “I thought you left.”
“I did Nick, but I came back. I couldn’t stand knowing you were in pain and not being able to do anything about it. I didn’t want tonight to be the same as every other night this week Nicky. You have to talk to me Nick, please.”
Nick could see unshed tears in Kevin’s eyes and it caused him to burst into tears himself. “Oh Nicky” Kevin said, instantly on the bed taking Nick into his arms. “Ssh, it’s going to be ok, I promise.”
They stayed that way for an hour, Nick sobbing and Kevin whispering comforting words and rubbing Nick’s back. When Nick had no more tears to cry, Kevin pulled away slightly to look at the younger man. His heart broke at the obvious pain Nick was in.
“Nicky…” he whispered.
He felt Nick tense up. “I know” was all he said in reply.
Kevin waited patiently, knowing that Nick needed to open up in his own time. He was surprised when Nick took a deep breath a couple of minutes later, and started talking. He honestly hadn’t expected him to quite so soon. He stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt the younger man’s flow. He knew Nick had been in love with Brian, he had been pretty much since the very beginning. But hearing Nick vocalize it was surprising.
When he had found out Nick and Brian had had an argument, he never imagined the reason. He also never expected Brian’s reaction. He made a mental note to have a talk with Brian, but his main concern now was the mess in front of him. He stroked the damp hair away from Nick’s face, letting his fingers smooth over Nick’s frown. By the time Nick had finished baring his soul, Kevin was fighting back a torrent of tears. He gathered Nick in his arms and held onto him tightly. No words were necessary. Taking a few shaky breaths, Kevin pressed a kiss to Nick’s forehead, to his nose, and then his lips. Nick’s eyes widened in surprise and he looked at Kevin with surprise. Kevin nodded and Nick blushed and looked away.
“In your own time Nick.”
“It was always you Kevin. I thought you knew.”
It was Kevin’s turn to be surprised. “I thought…”
“Brian” Nick sighed. “I do love Brian, I always have, just not in the same way. I guess, I projected my feelings for you onto Brian, but, he’s my best friend. Well, he was. I just, it’s always been you.”
It was Kevin’s turn to choke back a sob right before he claimed Nick’s lips with his own. This was not how he expected tonight to have gone, but he was saying thanks to God that he came back this time.