Brian was a confectioner and pastry chef. Not just any pastry chef, either, but one of the three that ran the Backstreet Cake shop, a place that was just as popular with the young as with the old. It was located in a small alley at Leipzig’s City Center. The Barfußgäßchen was widely known throughout the city as a street where you could have good food and a great night out. The building housing their cake shop had once been a traditional German café, but the former owners had declared bankruptcy.
As sad as that was, the chance to invest in it had been given to Brian’s cousin Kevin. It had always been his dream to have his own café, bringing the taste of pastries from his homeland to foreign countries. It was a bit of national pride that made Brian’s cousin want to advertise the distinct taste of the USA in Germany.
Brian still could remember the day when Kev had asked him if he wanted to come along on the journey. At first he had been a bit worried about leaving behind his family and everything he had known so far but, in the end, Kevin had been able to persuade him. "I need someone with your skill-set. You are the best pastry chef I know and a great confectioner, as well," he had said, appealing to Brian’s pride. He hadn’t even lied; Brian was damn good at his job.
That had been two years ago and things had changed a lot since then. Brian had changed. When he came here, he had been wide-eyed, perhaps naïve. Both he and Kevin expected the German public to welcome them with open arms, as if their baked goods had been a godsend to their country, something they all had been waiting for. The reality proved to be different. While the first few weeks in business had been wild and stressful, the novelty of an American cake-shop soon wore off.
It hit them hard. They became desperate to survive, constantly afraid of failing, but eventually they made the right business decisions to set them back on their path.
The problem was that they had not accounted for German taste. They just came with the same recipes they had used at home, then they realized they had to alter the recipes to fit what the locals preferred. American cakes were nice and pretty, but they also were much too sweet for German tastes. They had to adjust the recipes and Brian had been in charge of doing that. He had spent weeks doing research; he even asked local colleagues for help and, eventually, he managed to succeed.
Brian was proud of that, but that stress had changed him. He matured quite a bit during that time. Before, he had been carefree and confident, now he knew what it was like to worry. Perhaps he even worried a little bit too much at times.
Something else had changed as well. His eyes were caught by the reflection of his face on the glass of the oven. There had been a time when it had been kinder to him. Silently, Brian puffed out his cheeks as he looked at himself, carefully scrutinizing every little bit of fat he considered too much. He despised the way he looked. Those chubby legs, his face which had lost a bit of its contour, his sausage-like fingers, and worst of all the little flab of belly that had started to form. He really hated how he looked, hated that he had allowed himself to get that way.
It was not exactly like he had changed anything about his eating habits. Brian had always enjoyed eating and snacking, but the difference was that he had stopped doing sports. He missed it, too. Brian still loved sports; basketball in particular, but everything else as well. It would have made him so happy to go out and be active every day. Alas, that wasn’t an option.
All he could do to get back in shape was to change his eating habits. Perhaps he should have thought about that before. Now, he already was fat; now, things would be difficult.
With a sigh, he pulled his eyes away from his reflection. Best not to think about it too long. He turned instead towards a baking-sheet carrying heart-shaped cookies. He was about to lift it, when a voice called out to him.
"Everything okay, Rok?" The voice belonged to AJ.
Alexander James McLean — that was his full name — had come with them from the US, all the way at the beginning. Brian had known him for years. They had worked together in America as well, had learned their craft together. AJ was Brian’s best friend, so it was not surprising that he recognized his sorrow so quickly.
Brian sighed. "Yeah … kinda.", he spoke in a slightly melancholic fashion. "I'm just starting to look like an elephant."
He poked his belly fat gently as he looked across the room towards AJ, who was standing at the other oven.
AJ shook his head in bewilderment. "You're not that fat, Bri, don't be silly," he responded, with a worried look as he lifted one of the baking sheets on his own.
"’Not that fat’ does still mean I'm fat, doesn't it, Aje?" Insecurity was dripping from Brian’s words as he looked at his friend. AJ was trying to calm him down, but he couldn't deny that Brian had gained weight.
And he didn't. AJ looked him over, then sighed. "You're just a bit chubby. Don't worry about it, Bri. It's cute. Paul doesn't seem to mind it either, does he?"
Of course, AJ had to bring up his boyfriend. It made Brian roll his eyes as he finally lifted the baking sheet and started to walk along with his colleague. Things with his boyfriend were difficult. He loved him and Brian was sure Paul felt the same about him, but they argued a lot as well. Most of it was Brian’s fault, of course. He was just way too stressed out with work; he sometimes didn't treat his lover the way he was supposed to treat him. AJ didn't need to know that, though.
"Nah, he doesn’t," he said instead, and took a while to think about it.
Paul really didn't mind that he got chubby. “More to Love,” he said, but Brian wasn't sure how he felt about that. At times, it felt as if he was even encouraging him to gain weight and that made him feel uncomfortable. He didn't want to be fat, but perhaps he just perceived it all wrong; he was good at that.
Why would he want him fat? It wasn't attractive.
When he and AJ stepped into the front of the bakery, Brian sighed again. It was February, two days before Valentine’s Day, and eight days before his 29th birthday. He should be happier than he felt right now, but it was as if melancholy had captured him. What did he have to celebrate, right now? Getting old? The fact that he had gained at least 30 pounds? That he was a terrible boyfriend to Paul? Brian knew he was being a downer right now, but he couldn't help his mood.
It didn't help that the shop was nearly empty again. Fewer customers meant less income. Less income meant more worries. More worries meant more stress about needing to find out how to get the shop busy again. Things had been looking so good until that jazz café had opened next door. Now the customers went there instead, because there they could eat and enjoy live music at the same time.
"We should get ourselves some live musicians, too," Brian said to AJ as he placed the cookies on display and looked at the nearly empty room.
"Yeah, but not jazz, man. That would drive me nuts. Something less like noise, you know?" his friend responded, joining him in his work behind the counter.
"I'll talk to Kev about it." Brian finished the conversation just as he had placed the last cookie.
AJ nodded at this declaration. He knew it was better if Brian did the talking with Kev. He had the wire to him; he was his cousin. "You wanna do back or front duty today?" Alex asked as he gathered the empty baking-sheets that had carried both of their cookies. For a moment Brian thought about that question. He had grown anxious around people, especially since he had gained so much weight, but on the other hand making new cakes in the back only tempted him to snack.
"I'll stay here, Aje. You do the baking," he decided and walked towards the cash register, logging himself into the device.
"Alright, you know where to find me, mate." Alex grinned at those words before he vanished into the back, leaving Brian to serve customers.
When AJ stepped back into the kitchen Brian sighed. This was going to be a slow day, slower even than the day before. The rain that was falling outside made sure that only few people went out. Who wanted to go out and have cakes, when it meant getting wet like a poodle?
Slowly, Brian looked around in the room. The walls were designed with light colors, mostly white, but there were accents of blue and red to fit the US theme. The tables and chairs were solid black wood and stood on a wood floor. The café had two floors; the second one could be reached from a door leading to a set of stairs that was located on the left wall. Today it was locked, since they only opened it when the lower floor was filled to the brim.
Brian really liked the way the café was designed, it was comfy but spacious. Even if they had a lot of guests, there was still enough room to breathe.
Right now, the place was rather empty. There was only one family sitting on a table in the farthest corner of the room. AJ had served them earlier, so Brian couldn't do anything more for them.
Since there was nothing else he could do, Brian started to work on the displays. He reorganized them, making sure their goods looked the best they could. While they had just placed the heart-shaped cookies in rows, Brian thought that for Valentine’s Day it perhaps would be better to lay them out in a way that spelled “I love you,” so he started to do just that. He became kind of entranced in it, so much so that he didn't even notice an actual customer stepping up.
"Hey! I’d like to have some of these cookies," a sudden voice spoke, making Brian startle. "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
When Brian looked up to examine the source of those words he was taken aback; he was beautiful.
There in front of him stood a guy so German, he could have been the picture next the word in a dictionary. Blond, blue eyes, quite pale, and tall, too. He seemed to be about his age, perhaps a bit younger, and he was smiling. Smiling at him.
Brian felt nervous, as he noticed how attracted he was to the guy just by looking at him. Then, he felt a wave of guilt wash over him. How could he think that way when he had Paul? Yet, who could blame him, when the guy looked like that?
Obviously coming from the rain outside, he was drenched. That alone wasn't the problem, but he was wearing only a white shirt tucked to his black cargo pants. Brian could see every detail of the man’s body: his chest muscles, even the nipples. Brian blushed as he examined him.
"Hello?" the blond spoke, reminding Brian that he had to work here.
"Oh, sorry … I just … um … the heart cookies?" He stumbled a little over his words, blushing. "How many?" He took out the tongs, ready to serve whatever the blond wished to have.
"200 grams, please," his client responded and then watched Brian as he put them into a paper bag.
He was thankful to have some distraction. If he was concentrating on filling the bag, Brian did not have to look at the beautiful man, and then he wouldn't need to feel bad about finding him attractive.
"I'm Nick, by the way." A sudden, unexpected introduction came from the guy’s lips.
"Huh?" Brian blinked, looking up for a moment from what he was doing.
"My name is Nick and it's a pleasure to meet you. Who are you?" he said, as he winked.
With those words, Brian felt butterflies dancing in his stomach.
What was happening here? Why was he winking? Was he trying to flirt with him? Brian should have told him that he had a boyfriend, but he didn’t. Instead, he looked at Nick with big eyes, holding firmly onto the paper bag filled with hearts. He was charmed.
"I’m … uh … my name is Brian. Nice to meet you, Nick.", he finally managed to press out a few words, before he filled up the rest of the bag. "200 grams of love cookies," he commented as he placed them on the counter.
Nick smiled again and reached for the bag, putting a five euro note on the table to pay. Those blue eyes that he was sporting captured Brian, when he spoke again.
"That should be enough. The rest is for you, Brian."
Nick smirked as he spoke, but he didn't leave Brian any time to respond. Before he could say anything, the blond had already turned his back to him and was leaving the shop, the bag of heart-cookies in his hand.
Brian couldn't help but look after him a while. That Nick kid had been really attractive, and that smile, that beautiful smile! He felt the warmth rising in his cheeks again when he thought about it. Was he crushing? He shouldn't be crushing.
Slowly, he gathered up the money; it was more than enough. Suddenly, he froze in his motion. As his fingers touched the bill, he noticed something else; there was something below it: a piece of paper. Not money, but paper nonetheless. With shivering hands, Brian reached for it. It was a message. Strange, Brian had not seen him write it, but there it was. Slowly he read the line.
"Hey, you're cute. Give me a call. My number is 04187 - 753 42 77. <3 Nick"
As Brian read that message he gasped, immediately grabbing the counter for support as his knees got weak. That blond beauty was interested in him. He had just given him his number. Nobody had ever given him their number quite like that.
Paul would be angry if he found out and yet Brian couldn't bring himself to throw the piece of paper away. So, he slowly folded it and put it into the pocket of his jeans. It was strange how little it took, but suddenly the day felt a lot better than before. Somebody actually thought he was cute. Brian couldn't help but let out a delighted kind of squeal as he realized that. Of course, he wouldn't call that number; he simply couldn't, but it felt nice to have it.