Pairing(s): Nick/Kevin Rated: R Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes Originally Published: Early 2000s
Remember when, we never needed each other The best of friends like Brother and Brother We understood, we'd never be, Alone
Nick's POV
I looked over at Kevin while he was answering one of the questions the interviewers were asking. He smiled lightly when Kevin's face lit up with his smile. Kevin was beautiful.
I felt some one shake me and I fell out of my trance.
"Huh?" I said. Kevin looked at me with concern in his eyes. "You ok Nick?" he asked softly.
I shook my head and smiled a little. "I'm fine,"
The rest of the interview, continued on as nothing happened. As we were walking out of the building Kevin up to me.
"Hey Kev,"I said trying not to look at him. I looked at my shoes the whole way to my car.
"You mind if I catch a ride with you? I came with Howie and he's already taken off. "
"Yea sure I don't care."
We climbed into my Durango and headed to the hotel. "What are you doing tonight?" Kevin asked trying to make conversation.
"I'll prolly just stay around the hotel and play video games, nothing big." I tried to keep my eyes on the road and not on him but it was almost impossible. I caught myself glancing at him out of the corner of my eyes when he wasn't looking. He smiled at me. God his smiles could turn anybody to mush.
"You want some company?" Kevin asked slowly.
"Sure I don't really care if you want you can." He was babbling and he knew it.
Kevin smiled. "Ok I'll just chill with you tonight."
I smiled but on the inside I was jumping for joy. A whole night with Kevin. I was excited. I loved being with Kevin. It was fun to have someone around every once in a while. Even if I was confused with my feelings.
Those days are gone, and I want so much The night is long and I need your touch Don't know what to say I never meant to feel this way Don't want to be Alone tonight
Kevin's POV
We couldn't get back to the hotel fast enough. I knew it was a bad idea to ask to ride with him when I did but I just wanted to be with him. I should have never gotten into his car. It was just too hard. Locked inside a vehicle with someone you love is hard when they don't feel to same way. And why the hell had he asked to join him tonight? If it was that hard in the Durango I could only imagine what it would be like inside his hotel room.
I have got to stop torturing myself I said out loud once I had locked myself inside my hotel room. I didn't have to meet Nick till nine. That gave me time to shower and get my thoughts in order. I striped quickly and got into the shower. I turned the water up as hot as it would go and let it run down my body. Images of Nick kept coming into my mind. Invading my thoughts. This happened often. As much as I tried to get Nick out of my mind it didn't work he just didn't leave. It didn't help when I was around him 24/7.
I knew the reason why Nick wouldn't leave my thoughts. I didn't want Nick to leave his thoughts. I was in love with Nick. I knew we could never have a regular relationship because he was pretty scared of one. I didn't want people calling me gay or a fag, but I couldn't deny that I loved him. I just wanted to hold him and kiss him. Even if he regretted it all in the morning I knew I'd have that one night to burn into my memory.
I stood and let the water run for a little longer. I knew I wanted that one night I just wasn't sure how I would tell him that.
Those days are gone, and I want so much The night is long and I need your touch Don't know what to say I never meant to feel this way Don't want to be Alone tonight
Nick's POV
I sat on the couch taping my fingers against the armrest. I was nervous. I was terrified. Kevin was coming over to play video games but a gut feeling kept telling me that it was so much more. I wanted to ignore it but I could only wish that it was what I wanted. I knew it never would be though. I smiled when I heard a knock at the door. I was glad that I didn't have to spend the night alone.
I hated to be alone. I felt light headed as I opened the door and saw Kevin standing there. He was wearing dark blue jeans and a white shirt with a brown cover up. He looked good. I smiled and moved so he could walk in. He looked about as nervous as I felt.
We sat on the couch and Kevin turned to face me. "Nick I have something I need to tell you,"
I smiled and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Ok Train, lets hear it," I said trying to break the tension in the room.
"I'm in love with you," Kevin said looking up and meeting me with tear filled eyes.
Oh I want to say this right And it has to be tonight Just need you to know, oh yeah
Kevin's POV
There I told him. So why is he looking at me with that smirk on his face? Why does he have to look at me like that? Wait a minute is he coming closer to me? That's not supposed to happen, He's supposed to be furious and command me to leave. I closed my eyes as he came even closer. He kissed me softly at first then more aggressive.
After I figured out what he was doing I started to kiss him back. He pulled away and looked in my eyes. "I love you too, Kev," he whispered softly.
I took him in my arms and hugged him to me. I didn't ever want to let go. "What now Kev," He asked me with fear in his eyes.
"I'm not sure Nick," I told him. "What do you want to happen?" I was almost scared of his answer.
"I want us to be together Kev, I want us to be a couple. I want us to be able to share hotel rooms, and spend time with each other, I want to love you and I want you to love me. I want to be your boyfriend, and I want you to be mine."
Nick's eyes never met mine, but I could still see the small tears that fell softly down his cheeks.
"I want that too, Nicky, I'm just scared," I said slowly.
"Of what Kevin?" He asked his eyes finally meeting mine.
"Of the other guys not excepting us and them ripping us apart. I've lived this long without you, I'm not sure how much longer I want to. It would just kill me if the others tried to tear us apart." he said my eyes filling with tears as well.
"Nothing will be able to tear me away from you, Kev, Nothing. I love you," Nick said his eyes filled with tears again and he turned away. I turned him and made him look at me. We both could see the love and fear in each others eyes. I hugged him to me and held him for the longest time.
I looked around his room and realized just how messy it was. "Let's go to my room and sleep ok?" I said. Nick nodded.
"Hey Kev," he said stopping me. "I just need to make a phone call first."
"Ok Nicky, I love you", I said walking to the door.
"I love you too Kev," He smiled and I walked out the door and to my room.
What can I do, to make it right? Falling so hard so fast this time What did I say, what did you do? How did I fall in love with you? I don't want to live this life I don't want to say goodbye With you I want to spend The rest of my life
Nick's POV Once Kevin left I called my mom. My mother always told me that when I knew I was in love that she wanted to be the first to know. So once I knew Kevin was gone I picked up the phone and dialed my mom in LA. At first she was really excited then when I told her who with she started yelling. Calling me all kinds of horrible names, swearing I'd never see her or my siblings again. I immediately started crying I pleaded with her to understand. She wouldn't hear of it she told me Id have to choose them or Kevin.
I hung up on her and fled the room. I started pounding on Kevin's door. Screaming and crying for him to let me in. He finally came to the door and enveloped me in his arms. I don't know how long we stayed out in the hallway with me sobbing in his arms. He just held me and told me everything would be all right.
I would never tell Kevin about any of the conversation that I had with my mom. He would feel guilty and I wouldn't let that happen. I guess you can tell which one I chose. I chose to stay with Kevin. I gave up my family to be with Kevin, but it was a small price to pay. I loved Kevin more than anything and I knew he loved me and that's all that matters.
What can I do, to make it right? Falling so hard so fast this time What did I say, what did you do? How did I fall in love with you?