Paul was staring at him; it was obvious that he was annoyed.
Brian heard it in Paul's voice when he had called him from the hospital. This was not how his boyfriend had planned his day; helping Brian meant that he had to give up on completing his work on the database program he had been planning to finish that day.
In a way, Brian regretted calling him at all. Perhaps it would have been better if he had just called and asked AJ to take him home, but that wasn’t really an option. Before the doctor had even started with the examination, he gave Brian a pretty strong pain killer. It was strong enough to make him feel dizzy and dazed. After treatment, the doctor said that he should be taken home by car, and AJ didn't have a car.
Of course, Brian could have called a taxi, but in the end he had decided to ask Paul instead. That was a mistake; he shouldn’t have bothered him with it.
The diagnosis had not been as bad as he had feared. He had a tennis-ball-sized hematoma. The doctor told him that the pain he felt originated in the fact that blood had gathered in the area where his skin was swollen and discolored, pressing into his nerves and muscles.
In order to treat it, the doctor had used a tube to drain the area of blood. Once he had done that, the pain eased up immediately. It was still bleeding, though, and the doctor told Brian that he needed to observe the wound over the next few days.
If it stopped bleeding and remained reduced in size, everything would be alright, but if it swelled up again he had to return to the hospital. To support his recovery, the doctor prescribed him high-dose ibuprofen for the pain and suggested he get some arnica balm from the drug store. He also advised him to stay at home for the next week.
Seven days.
Seven days that he had to be away from the job he loved so much. Brian didn't like the idea, but it was the time-frame written down on his “incapacity certificate.” Once Kevin saw it — which had to happen in the next two days — there was no way his cousin would allow him to come back to work any earlier.
There was no way out of it, and so Brian had felt kind of mopey even before he called Paul, and when he spoke to his boyfriend and heard the annoyed tone of his voice, Brian felt even worse.
Since then, his mood had not really improved.
His boyfriend came to get him fifteen minutes later. Brian was sitting on a bench near the street when Paul drove up in his gray Audi A4. He looked through the window; there was no smile on his face, but he also didn't seem worried. Paul’s eyebrows were furrowed, his eyes narrowed and, as he came to a halt, he stared at Brian.
A shudder ran through Brian's body as he saw the coldness that lay in Paul's eyes. Brian was worried about climbing into a car with him, when he was in this mood, but he did. He sat down next to Paul and put on his seatbelt in silence, and Paul just stared at him. “We have to get some stuff from the pharmacy,” Brian said in a meek voice that carried all of the guilt he felt for calling Paul to get him, slurring his words a bit.
Paul just nodded and started to drive, his expression not changing.
They didn't exchange many words on their way home, not even as they got the medication. Brian knew that Paul was holding in all of the things he wanted to say until they got back home. When the door of their flat had fallen closed behind them, Paul once more just stared at Brian, making it obvious that he was annoyed, but taking his time to address it. Unsettled by this, Brian stood close to the door, observing every movement his boyfriend made.
Before he finally spoke, Paul sighed deeply and narrowed his eyes. “Why can't you take care of yourself?” he asked, mirroring the words Kevin had spoken.
“I-I'm sorry Paul. I should have taken the ibuprofen with me,” Brian responded, admitting his mistake.
He felt mildly drowsy, but his instincts told him to stay away from Paul, so he kept standing in the corner next to the door, even as Paul started to remove his coat.
“You're always sorry, babe. Perhaps you should start to think for once. You knew I had an important day at work today.”
His boyfriend's voice was filled with frustration, and after he had put the coat onto the hanger Paul turned towards him. Brian stayed silent as he watched Paul come closer. When he stood right in front of him, Brian made himself as small as he could.
Something about that reaction seemed to have bothered his lover, because Paul huffed and grabbed him by the hand. Brian expected the worst, but was relieved when his boyfriend only brought the hand up to his lips. He lightly kissed it and looked into his eyes. The annoyance was still visible, but Paul's facial features were softer. Paul was searching for something inside of Brian's eyes. Brian wasn't sure if he found it, but he slowly let the hand drop again.
“Go and lay down on the bed, so I can put the balm on your wound!” he ordered, and pointed towards their bedroom.
Even though his expression was softer now, his words were still kind of harsh.
Brian obeyed. He didn't know Paul's current mood, but he didn't want to risk triggering anything, so he made sure not to waste any time. He hurried towards their bedroom and lay down on the bed, just as Paul wanted him to.
For a while, he just lay there. Paul had not yet arrived in the room, but Brian didn't dare move from where he was. His motionless body didn’t betray the turmoil going on in his head. Still dazed from the painkiller, it was even harder to gather his thoughts. They jumped from one place to the other. One moment they were set on the pain Paul had inflicted upon him, a moment later they showed him Nick and his beautiful smile, the next moment he was confused by that "Howie" guy asking for "Nicky," and, in the end, he felt guilty again for feeling attracted to Nick.
His thoughts were like flashes; none of them stayed long enough to think them through, but they brought with them feelings and emotions he couldn't quite handle right now because he felt so tired and dizzy.
When Paul finally arrived in the room, Brian looked at him in silence. Paul held the balm in one hand, and the bandages in the other. Brian took a slow, deep breath as Paul sat down on the bed next to him. As his boyfriend bent over the wound and opened the tube of arnica balm, Brian noticed him shaking his head.
"Everyone saw this, didn't they?" Paul asked in a dangerous voice, as if he was about to strike if Brian gave the wrong answer. What followed was silence. Brian didn't know how to respond. It felt bad to admit they had seen it, every single one of them; AJ, Kevin, and Nick, they all knew he was injured. It had not been what Brian wanted.
Paul almost certainly didn’t like it, either. When Brian had promised not to tell anyone about what happened, that probably included not showing his friends the wound. It was not like Brian could have done anything to prevent it, but that was no excuse. Paul wouldn't understand it, anyway. Brian didn't know what to say, so he stayed silent.
He shouldn't have done that. Paul wasn't satisfied and he made sure Brian knew. With no word spoken to him, Paul had reached out and pressed his fingers deeply into Brian's bruise.
There was a sudden scream. With Brian as dazed as he was, it took a moment for him to realize it was his own. As agony and pain returned and shot through all of his nerves, Brian widened his eyes.
"I asked you a question," Paul said in a tone that was so calm that it was threatening, as he pulled his hand back again. Brian knew better now than to be silent again.
"Y-yes they did … I'm sorry Paul; I couldn't stop them," he stuttered, shaken both from being scared and from the waning pain. With his boyfriend acting like this, Brian didn't know how Paul would respond to his words. He told him the truth, but that could still potentially make his boyfriend even angrier. Fear crept up inside of him, and he closed his eyes tightly to be prepared, in case more pain would follow.
It didn't come, though. He did feel Paul's hands, but they were caring now as they spread the arnica balm on the bruise. "It would have been better had you stayed at home," Paul said while he was working on Brian's back. "I should have known that this would happen."
A sigh escaped Paul's throat and he pulled his hand back. For a moment he just sat there in silence, doing nothing, then he put the balm down onto the bed and started applying the bandage.
"You didn't tell them how you got this, though, did you?" Once again the tone of Paul's voice was threatening. Brian quickly shook his head.
"Good. You did something right," he said, and Brian could hear Paul's smile in the way he spoke.
If only his voice would always sound like that: gentle, warm, and caring. Brian loved that voice; it promised love. Even if what Paul had said was not exactly the sweetest thing in the world, Brian appreciated it so much right now. It was better than the coldness. All of a sudden, the mattress started to wobble. How strange. It took a moment for Brian to realize it was only Paul moving after he was done applying the bandage. He crawled over Brian's body, then lay down in front of him. When Paul stopped, his face was right in front of Brian's. He smiled and looked into his eyes.
"You are so doped up, aren't you?" He sounded amused about it, and even laughed.
An infectious sound. Brian had to chuckle as well. He nodded in response and watched Paul as he brought his hand up to cup his face. "I love you, Brian," that sweet voice said.
It was followed by a kiss. Gentle and loving, Paul brought their lips together. It was short and sweet, nothing that lasted long, but it was enough to make Brian feel better.
Finally, it felt as if he could breath again. Paul wasn't angry anymore; Brian was safe again. He needed that safety; he wanted to savor it. He wanted to hide behind that side of Paul and never leave it again.
Longing for protection, Brian leaned forward and nuzzled his head up against Paul's chest. As if they were doing a choreographed dance his boyfriend welcomed his movements with his own, putting his arms around him to hold him close and placing a kiss onto his forehead.
It felt good to be close to Paul and yet Brian was shaken by his feelings; the chaos in his mind was back. The emotions he had felt in the last few days — fear, adoration, perhaps love, guilt most certainly — they all fell upon him.
Some of them were easy to understand, but those that were connected to the image of Nick's face were so hard to read. Those emotions Brian didn't know where to put them or how to handle them; they became overwhelming. In his dazed mind, he couldn't think clearly. What was he supposed to feel or think?
When it all became too much, his body shuddered and tears found their way down his cheeks. He started to sob, and Paul pulled him tighter into the hug.
"Shh … honey, everything is alright. I'm here," he said trying to calm Brian. "Don't worry. I'm not angry anymore."
Paul placed another gentle kiss on Brian's forehead, then leaned a little backwards to look at him.
"I'm sorry that I was a bit grumpy, but I had to stop working on my project for you. That really annoyed me, but it's alright now." His voice was very soothing. "After all, with you having to stay at home, at least I'll know where you are. That guessing game these last few days really pissed me off."
Paul sounded really delighted, although a bit scolding, when he spoke, and Brian watched him attentively.
"It also means that I can take care of you all day! I just have to call my boss and take some time off." He gently nudged Brian's shoulder causing him to give Paul a weak smile.
"You don't have to," Brian responded, not wanting to keep his boyfriend from finishing his project. Paul chuckled as he looked at him.
"I want to!" He spoke energetically and smiled brightly.
Brian loved that smile so much. Slowly, he reached out to tug on Paul's shirt to pull him closer again. Paul complied, and trailed his hand caringly across his upper back.
"You should sleep now, though. You seem really tired," Paul said in a calmer voice, as he placed a kiss on the corner of Brian's lip. It was true, he was tired. Lovingly, Brian nodded and hummed a confirmation. His mind was already getting blurry. Moments later, the world had become dark; Brian was sleeping.
When he woke up the next morning, he came to in a rush. Once he had opened his eyes, Brian felt as if he was falling, despite laying perfectly still. It was a feeling that only lasted for a second, but it was enough to make him feel wide awake.
In a quick motion, he sat up and looked around the room. He was alone, and he felt cold. Paul was nowhere to be seen, and it made Brian feel lonely. Of course, his boyfriend had not been nearly as tired as he had been. There had been no medications running through his body, after all, but Brian would have loved to wake up in his arms, protected and safe.
A sigh escaped his throat. Perhaps Paul's boss had not allowed him to stay at home and he had gone to work. Maybe he just had not wanted to wake up Brian.
With careful movements, he left the bed.
As he was standing, Brian noticed that he was only wearing boxer-shorts. Strange; he couldn't even remember removing his clothes. It seemed that Paul had done it, while he was asleep. That painkiller must have really knocked him out.
Brian felt slightly cold, but he still decided against putting on his clothes right away. He was thirsty, really thirsty; it felt like he had spent a hot summer day outside without getting a single drop of water. He needed to drink.
Usually they put a water bottle next to their bed before going to sleep, but yesterday they had forgotten about that. To drink, he needed to go to the kitchen.
Happy that the pain he had felt the day before had eased up considerably, Brian walked quickly. The pain was not completely gone, but it had gone down enough that walking didn't make him feel like he was being stabbed repeatedly anymore. Once he would take the ibuprofen his back would feel even better.
"Good morning, Brian!" An excited voice came from the kitchen as Brian pushed open the door.
Paul had not gone to work; he was standing by the stove, making scrambled eggs, and Brian could smell frying bacon as well.
"Hey," Brian said. He noticed how sleepy his voice sounded despite the fact that he felt wide awake.
Paul chuckled. "Had a good sleep?" he asked, and examined Brian for a while.
There was a cheeky smirk on his face. It was pretty obvious that he was enjoying the fact that Brian had entered the kitchen in just his boxer-shorts, even though he probably would have preferred him stark naked.
Brian’s impression was confirmed when he whistled at him. "Stop it, Paul!" Brian said, half amused.
"What? Can't I appreciate my boyfriend being all sexy?" Paul asked, grinning.
Brian shook his head, but didn't say another word. He just stepped over to where Paul was cooking and leaned up against him. Paul pulled him into a hug.
"Let me finish up making your breakfast, okay? I will have to go to the café afterwards, and take your incapacity certificate to your employer." Paul's voice was gentle and he released him from the hug.
Brian pouted at that, but once the scent of the bacon reached his nose, it reminded him that Paul shouldn't let the meat get burned. It was sweet. Bacon and eggs weren't usually what Germans ate for breakfast, but Paul had made them just for him. Brian smiled and went to the kitchen table. Part of the breakfast had already been prepared. Everything was set on the table: milk, bread, marmalade, Nutella, and different kinds of sausage still in their plastic packaging. It was a great selection of things. The first thing Brian reached for was the milk. Finally something to quench that terrible thirst he had. Quickly, he filled his cup and started to drink.
"Are you feeling better?" Paul asked, as he put the finished bacon and the scrambled eggs onto a plate.
"A little bit. I'll still take one of the ibuprofens after breakfast," Brian responded and watched as Paul placed the plate down in front of him. "You don't have a plate for yourself," he noticed.
Paul smiled and tousled Brian's hair. Then he shook his head. "Nah. Like I said, I'll head to the city right away."
"It's a hassle the way you Germans do it. Those certificates are really inconvenient. In the US, I’d just have called Kev to tell him how long I would be gone," Brian said, a little sad about the fact Paul wouldn't eat with him.
"It's the way things have to be, babe, but don't worry; I'll take care of it. You'll see; I'll be back in no time." Paul's words were calming, and he placed a kiss on the top of Brian's head, then he turned to head out the door.
"Enjoy your breakfast. I'll be back in about an hour," his boyfriend added as he stepped outside.
"Until then," Brian gave his good-bye, and turned back to the table.
The bacon looked really good. As he heard the apartment door open and close, Brian started digging into his breakfast. He gave a sound of pleasure as he noticed the food was just as tasty as it had looked. Paul was such a great cook. If he had not been a programmer, he could have earned good money working for a restaurant.
Brian was lucky to have him.
As he continued eating he allowed his mind to wander off. He wondered what his friends were doing. Kevin was probably hidden behind the stacks of papers that kept getting bigger every day. Brian didn't envy his job. AJ's day probably wasn't any easier. Now that Brian was at home, it fell upon Alex to both bake the confections and serve the customers. — and Nick.
Brian couldn't stop himself from smiling as he thought about him. He wondered how his first day of work had been, and how the second day was starting. It made him sad that he had not been able to see how it had gone. Maybe Nick had been nervous, or perhaps the opposite. Nick did more seem like the confident type to him. Hopefully, that Spanish guy had not been all over him. Brian didn't like him.
While his thoughts were still hanging on Nick, Brian took another forkful of scrambled eggs. He was about to eat them when the phone started to ring.
As he usually did when he heard a phone ring, Brian dropped everything he was doing. He put the fork down on the plate, and quickly rose from his seat to hurry towards the phone that was located in the hallway. A few moments later, he was pressing it to his ear.
"Hello?" he asked, curious who would respond.
"Rok!" It was AJ's voice. "How are you doing?"
Brian smiled as he heard him. It felt good to talk to him.
"I'm doing much better, Aje,” he started, delighted, and then continued, pouty, “Gotta be at home for a week though."
"One week?! Brian, how shall I ever survive one full week without your help in the kitchen?" AJ scolded him, but only playfully. Brian chuckled. "I'm sure you will survive somehow. Kev can help you a little. It would stop him from gathering dust behind his paper castle," he responded, amused.
"I guess so. But, hey, it's good to — " AJ was suddenly interrupted. There were some rustling sounds and Brian heard his best friend say "Hey!" in the distance. Then there was another voice.
"Hey, monkey." They were only two words, but they made Brian blush, made his knees feel weak.
"Nick," he heard himself say in a breathy voice.
"The one and only. How are things?" the beautiful voice asked.
As the melody of words reached Brian's ears, he felt lost again. In that moment he wasn't in the apartment’s hallway anymore, but back in Nick's arms. He could feel how he held him close and he remembered the steady sound of his heartbeat. Just thinking about it made him feel calm.
"Things are better. The pain is nearly gone," he finally responded.
Brian was aware that Nick had also been asking about Paul, but he didn't want to respond. Nick was silent for a while, then Brian heard him breathe in deeply.
"It's good to hear your voice again. I hope I can see you again, soon," Nick's voice was as calm as it was beautiful.
Brian smiled and nodded, even though Nick wasn't able to see it. "You will. How was your first day at work?" He really was curious to know.
Nick chuckled on the other end. "Was great. You never told me about AJ! What a crazy guy," Nick said, a little louder.
Brian chuckled when he heard AJ in the background. "Hey, I can hear you!" he said to Nick, who started to laugh. Brian joined him. "No, it really was a nice day! Well, except for you breaking down on us. But I think I forgive you for that, if you come back soon," Nick said, joking.
"I promise," Brian said confidently, and was about to say more when he once again heard rustling on the other end.
"Hey, Brian, it’s me again." AJ had taken the phone back. "We gotta get back to work now, even that lazy kid you brought along," he said, as Nick laughed in the background. "Come back soon! We love you! Bye, Bri!"
AJ didn't let him respond before he ended the call.
They left him in silence again, alone with his thoughts. The thoughts all circled around Nick.
Even though it made Brian feel guilty again, he welcomed the pictures that entered his mind; they made him so happy. Nick was there in front of his inner eye, smiling, laughing, holding him. It made him feel warm just to think about it. Only when the pictures changed and he saw himself kissing Nick did he force himself to stop thinking about him. He forced his thoughts back to Paul, where they should be.
Hopefully he would be back home soon; Brian hated being alone.
It took him another fifty minutes to return. By the time Paul entered their apartment, Brian had finished eating breakfast. He also had taken his painkiller, taken a shower, and dressed himself.
"Honey, I'm home!" Brian heard his boyfriend's happy words shortly after he had heard the apartment door. Moments later, Paul joined him in the living room.
"Aw, you are dressed now," Paul said, mockingly disappointed.
Brian chuckled, but was distracted by the two bags his boyfriend was carrying. One was from McDonald’s, the other he knew to be from the café. Food, and Brian still felt full from the breakfast he had eaten.
Brian thought he had an idea what this was about, but he asked, "What's all that, Paul?"
Paul examined him for a moment in silence, then he put the bags down on the living room table.
"Food," he simply said.
Brian frowned, and moved a little backwards on the couch.
"But I just had breakfast. I'm not even hungry!" Brian protested and looked up at his boyfriend.
Paul just sighed and moved to sit down next to Brian. He didn't seem threatening, but Brian still felt uncomfortable. "Do you love me, Brian?" Paul's question surprised him.
His response came quickly. "Of course I do."
Paul however stayed silent for a while now. Looking at him, it seemed to Brian as if he could see the gears moving in his head. Paul's face was directed upwards at the ceiling. He hesitated before he finally spoke.
"Well, if you love me, you will do anything for me, right?" Brian frowned, unsure where Paul's questions were leading.
"Probably?" He responded carefully, trying to get Paul to explain himself.
He did. "I want you to gain weight for me, Brian."
There it was. The thing that had stood unspoken between them for so long. Brian had not been blind and stupid; he knew that Paul loved his chub. It was also no news to him that Paul enjoyed watching him eat. Part of him had already guessed what he had just now said, but hearing it made his body shudder.
"Paul," he started, "I don't want to gain weight."
He tried to say it in a way that wouldn't upset Paul. Brian eyed his boyfriend carefully after he had spoken. When he saw that Paul was getting angry, Brian moved away from him a little.
"Why not? Do you even know how sexy you are with your chubby belly? Do you know how much more sexy you will be when you get fatter?" Paul hummed and brought one hand up to gently stroke Brian’s cheek. "You would be so hot to me."
As he spoke, Brian kept his eyes on him. The words he said made him shake his head. How could he respond to that?
Brian had wondered for some time if Paul thought that way, but he had never said it out loud, so Brian had tried to ignore it. Now that it was out in the open, he couldn't ignore it any longer; he had to say something.
"I don't want that, Paul. I want to lose weight, not gain it," he explained as calmly as he could, but somehow it set his boyfriend off.
"Why? Is there somebody else you need to be attractive for?" Paul asked, snarling as his expression changed into anger. Brian quickly shook his head. This was not good; Paul was starting to get mad. That couldn't happen. He didn't want him to lash out again.
"No, there is nobody, Paul. You’re the only one for me!" Brian felt tense as those words left his mouth.
"Good! Then you will gain weight for me, right?"
As Paul asked his question, he looked at him with piercing eyes. They were shooting daggers and Brian didn't know how to defend against them. He had seen and felt what Paul would do if he got angry.
Even though all of his senses felt disgusted by the idea, even though everything in him screamed “No!” — Brian just nodded.
"Yes, Paul." He lowered his head as he spoke, miserable.
"Good!" Paul repeated, and started opening the bags.
Brian watched as he revealed what he had bought. In the bag from the café, there were two pieces of the New York cheesecake AJ had made the day prior.
"Your friends gave those to me for free. I couldn't say no to that offer," Paul said happily, then proceeded to open the bag from McDonald's, "but I thought if you eat something sweet, you will probably enjoy something savory afterwards."
There were French fries and two sandwiches in the bag, one a chicken sandwich, and one a cheeseburger.
"Let me get the cutlery," Paul said, once he was done unpacking, and then left for the kitchen.
When he was gone, Brian just stared at the amount of food before him. He didn't feel hungry at all, but he knew Paul wouldn't care about that, because it was what Paul wanted: making him eat as much as he possibly could.
Once again, Brian shuddered. Eating like this would most certainly make him gain weight. Paul would love it, but Brian hated it. And yet, weren't you supposed to make sacrifices for the person you loved?
He was willing to do it — for love — but as he sat there at the table waiting for Paul to return with the dishes, he couldn't ignore the tiny part of him that doubted that’s what it was.
Was this love? Did Paul really make him happy?
He shook his head; he shouldn't be thinking that way. Of course it was love! Paul was always there for him; he came and got him from the hospital, even though he had a project to finish at work. And he did make him happy; when Paul held him close, when he kissed him, and when he smiled. He shouldn't be doubting their relationship; making sacrifices for love was a normal thing to do. Was it really too much to ask him to gain weight?
As much as Brian wanted to find an answer to that question, he couldn't.
Paul returned, bringing a plate and a fork with him, and sat down next to Brian. Paul was lost in his own world, not paying attention to Brian, as he placed the cheesecake pieces on the plate. Once he was done, he lifted the plate slowly. Brian watched as Paul used the fork to cut off a piece of the cake. He watched as the fork came closer and closer until it touched his lips.
"Eat," Paul said and, after a moment of hesitation, Brian opened his mouth.
Paul started feeding him like that; piece by piece, he fed him the two pieces of cake. About half-way through, Brian started to groan as his stomach started to ache, but Paul didn't stop. The only thing he did was to bring one hand up to his stomach and rub it and squeeze it.
Brian felt disgusted and sick when the cheesecake was gone. As Paul pressed the chicken sandwich to his lips, Brian shook his head firmly.
Paul examined him for a moment. It was obvious that he did not want him to stop, but Brian felt like he couldn't eat another bite. "Come, just one bite more, okay?" His boyfriend tried to get him to continue.
As Paul started moving the sandwich in circles under his nose, Brian felt nauseous. It was too much, but it didn't seem like his boyfriend would give up. There was nothing he could do.
"Alright, but just one bite," Brian gave in.
“For love” was what he thought, trying to make this feeding session, or whatever it was, seem alright.
He opened his mouth slowly and took a bite of the chicken sandwich. Paul watched him attentively as he did. As Brian gulped it down, Paul smiled.
"You did so well; I'm proud of you!" He truly seemed happy.
Brian felt more than full; he was stuffed beyond belief, and felt miserable. His stomach hurt from all that Paul had made him eat after a breakfast that had not exactly been small, either.
He groaned in pain and Paul pulled Brian up to straddle his lap and started to rub his tummy. He was entranced by Brian. Paul hummed and pushed his hips upwards; Brian could feel that he had an erection. He gasped in surprise.
At any other point he might have felt enticed, but right now he just felt sick. He was in pain and not in the mood for anything sexual. Paul, however, was, and he kept pushing up into him as he was rubbing his belly.
At least the rubbing helped to make the pain he was feeling ease up. Brian was mildly weirded out and unsure how he should feel about the fact that Paul was aroused by him right now. He didn't understand what it was about him being stuffed that made Paul feel this way. Yet, despite not being in the mood for sex, it felt good to be desirable, so Brian didn't stop him.
Brian allowed his boyfriend to continue, and watched him attentively as he closed his eyes and started to moan passionately. Paul enjoyed the friction his dry-humping motions made. Eventually, he reached orgasm and moaned loudly.
Brian just kept looking at him. He didn't know what to feel. Of course it was really sexy to have his boyfriend ejaculate because of him, to have him messing his pants from lust for him, but Brian was so confused by it all. He still felt mostly disgusted by having eaten so much.
His thoughts were chaotic as well. Gaining weight — the simple idea of it — was nauseating to Brian. He wanted to be slim and athletic and not fat. At the same time, he felt complimented by how much his boyfriend wanted him because of it. Paul had been so caring as he had fed him; Brian hadn't felt that loved and desired by him for a while.
So if eating all that food meant that Paul would love him more, then perhaps it was worth it?
He still didn't know an answer. Paul gently pushed him off his lap and left the room, obviously going to clean himself up. Brian watched him, still confused, still feeling sick from all the food.
Slowly, he lay down on the couch and looked up at the ceiling.
Over the next few days, Brian saw just how serious Paul had been about making him gain weight. He had always made large amounts of food, but it seemed now that he had increased the size of his portions even more. It was so much food, but Paul always made sure that Brian ate until he was totally stuffed. He found delight in it, too.
A few times Brian had tried to protest, telling Paul that he felt sick, but always his boyfriend had reminded him that it was what someone that truly loved him would do, and Brian did love Paul.
In the end, it also meant that Paul was more caring. Every time he was done with a meal, Paul held him, kissed him, and gently caressed his body.
"I love you," he whispered in Brian's ear then.
Brian truly felt appreciated and loved. The days went by and, while Paul made sure Brian ate as much as he could, his injury kept getting better and better. When his birthday came, it didn't even hurt anymore.