Life in the cottage turned routine for both men. Kevin decided a routine was what Nick needed, to help him overcome his nightmare. Nick refused to sleep alone the first two weeks they stayed in the cottage. He never left Kevin’s side. It was as though Kevin had a blonde haired shadow. Kevin didn’t mind Nick’s constant company, but it was getting harder for the older man to deny his feelings for the younger blonde. Kevin found himself falling more in love with the younger man.
It was getting harder than Kevin ever imagined, hiding his feelings for the younger man. It was getting harder to deal with. Kevin tried to distance himself away from Nick as much as possible, and for now it seemed to be working.
Nick was also battling with his feelings for the older man. It had amazed him that he had just been brought out of living hell and all he could think about was the raven-haired man. Kevin invaded all of his thoughts and Nick was totally confused on how do deal with them all. He had never felt like this before. He loved Kevin far more than he ever imagined loving Alex. He knew Kevin wouldn’t hurt him, but he was still afraid to get close to him like that.
The two settled into the cottage and both felt their friendship was growing stronger than it had ever been. There was little or no talk about their future. Both men were content just living one day at a time. They both knew though, that they couldn’t hide forever. They would have to make a decision soon. Nick loved performing. It was what he had always dreamed of doing. It was like a dream come true for him. He had always seen himself on stage. It was what he lived to do. He loved being on stage singing his heart out to his fans. He knew though, that he couldn’t go back to the Backstreet Boys.
Nick knew if he went back to the group Alex would start all of his shit all over again. Nick didn’t think he could live through all of it a second time. He was lucky he survived it the first time. He was safe here. Alex didn’t know where he was. Alex couldn’t get to him, here with Kevin.
If he went back though, it was like inviting Alex back into his life. That wasn’t something Nick wanted. He had finally, with the help of Kevin, got away from the nightmare that had turned into his life. He didn’t want to go back to that. Kevin loved his job as well. It was what brought him to Nick. He would always love it for that reason, but Nick’s happiness mattered more to him than anything. If Nick did not want to go back, then Kevin was more than ready to quit alongside him.
He wasn’t going to let him suffer alone anymore. Kevin didn’t want Nick to feel insecure and alone everywhere they were around the others, because of Alex. It was now his job to protect Nick in every way possible. If that meant keeping them in the cottage, than that’s what he’d do. Only selected people knew the phone number to the cottage, Brian, their mothers, and management.
So when the phone rang late one afternoon they weren’t worried. They were lying side-by-side on the couch. Kevin had his arms wrapped securely around the younger man, while Nick had buried his face in the base of Kevin’s neck. It was a position they found themselves in a lot. Nick loved nothing more than to be wrapped up in Kevin’s arms. He couldn’t imagine a place where he felt safer.
When the phone rang Nick groaned against the side of Kevin’s neck, angry someone had disrupted their time together. Kevin let go of Nick long enough to hit the speakerphone. He immediately went back to holding the younger man closer. The voice of their manager, Ruston, filled the room immediately.
“Hey guys,” he began. “I know your both loving this vacation and everything, but I really need to know if this is just a vacation, or if it’s over,” Nick and Kevin were still on the couch.
They knew this day would come, they just didn’t realize it would be this soon. Nick lifted his head away from Kevin’s neck to look into him eyes. Kevin met Nick’s gaze and held it for a few moments.
“I want to quit Kevvy,” Nick whispered almost inaudible.
He dropped his gaze and focused on Kevin’s shirt. He drew patterns on his chest lightly with his fingertips. Kevin covered Nick’s hand with his own and intertwined their fingers. Nick looked up into Kevin’s emerald green eyes.
“If you want to quit baby, then we’ll quit. No one will make you go back there.” Kevin smiled lightly at the younger man.
“We’re gone, Ruston, We quit,” Nick said his voice shaking lightly.