I didn’t have the strength. I took a bath with great difficulty and took some painkillers to ease some of the pain. I applied my own makeup for the concert so I could cover all the bruises. I had black bruises up and down both of my arms and all over my chest. There wasn’t one place my body didn’t hurt.
It took forever before the makeup cover all my facial bruises. There was a giant knot on the side of my head where I hit the table. My ribs still hurt and I wondered briefly if they some of them might be broken.
I timed it just right and didn’t show up at the venue until almost time to go on. I didn’t want the other guys to see the knot or bruises. They would ask questions I wasn’t ready to answer.
Alex looked at me disgustedly as I got ready to go onstage. I tried to ignore him.
I had to get away from him. I had thought about it while I laid on the floor the first time this morning, but dismissed the thought.
Then after what happened this afternoon I realized if I stayed with him much he would eventually kill me. He was terrible when he was sober, but when he was drunk he spoke with his fists and I has his target. He turned into a hideous monster and I couldn’t stay with him. I knew it, Kevin knew it, but it didn’t make it any easier.
I wished that this was one of those problems I could just tell Kevin and he could make it all better. I wasn’t a kid anymore and Kevin couldn’t fix all of my problems. I had to deal with this one on my own.
I tried not to look at anyone during the concert. I ran through the routines without giving them much thought. I was the first one to leave the stage and I left the venue in the van before anyone else.
I couldn’t let them see me. The makeup had sweated off and I’m sure they could see all the bruises on my face.
Once I got back to the hotel I showered and put on sweat pants and a long sleeved t-shit to hide the bruises. I was sure someone would come check on me and I didn’t want them to see. Twenty minutes or so later Alex came back. He walked into the bedroom and didn’t even glance in my direction. That was fine as long as he didn’t come back and hit me.
“What the hell did you do all afternoon? Your precious Kevin was at the venue.” Alex yelled from the bedroom.
“I watched a movie.” I said instantly wishing I could take it back.
“Is that all your lazy ass did all day? That’s why your so freaking fat. You sit on your ass and do nothing all day long. “ Alex said coming into the living room.
“It hurt to move ok, I couldn’t hardly breathe because you hurt my ribs when you kicked me. I don’t know what to do to make you happy anymore. I’m not cheating on you. Kevin is just my friend; I would never cheat on you Alex and you do hurt me, you hurt me terribly. Every time you hit me, or you yell at me about my looks or my weight that hurts me. I don’t even know why were together anymore.” I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders until I felt Alex’s fist connect with my face.
The impact sent me sailing to the floor and I kicked myself mentally for mouthing off. He grabbed me by the wrists and squeezed them together until they bruised. I tried to jerk away from him but he just tightened his grip. I closed my eyes as he let go and I fell back to the floor.
“Don’t ever talk to me like that again you hear me!” Alex yelled. He turned and walked back out the door.
I sat there for a couple of minutes before I heard a knock at the door.
“I’m coming!” I yelled.
I figured Alex had locked himself out. I opened the door to find Kevin on the other side. His eyes widened with horror as he saw what Alex had done. I felt the tears well up and I threw myself into his arms. I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his neck. I cried in his arms for the longest time.