Pairing(s): Nick/Kevin Rated: R Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Originally Published: Early 2000's
Have you ever been in love? Not teenager puppy love, but the real thing, true love. The kind of love where you cannot stand to be away from them, where you drive yourself crazy thinking about them. The kind of love where you think you’re dying just from seeing them in pain. The kind that makes your day just by seeing them smile.
I have, still am. I’m crazy and helplessly in love with Kevin Richardson-Carter. I used to think that only fools fell in love and live happily ever after. I used to wonder if it would ever happen to me. I thought I’d never find the one for me. Little did I know that the perfect one was right under my nose. I remember the day he told me he loved me so clearly, now even 10 years later.
***Flashback***
We were in Las Vegas on the Black and Blue Tour. We were scheduled to do a radio interview and perform two nights before moving to the next city. We were in the venue practicing for the show that evening when Kevin’s cell phone rang. He left the stage area for a little while to have some privacy while on the phone.
He’d been gone for a long time so we all took a break and was standing around the stage downing water left and right. Kevin came back in sometime later and his face was as white as a sheet. He was trembling softly and it broke my heart. It tore me up to see Kevin hurting so bad. I could tell something was terribly wrong. I’d watched him secretly for years so I knew what his emotions were. I could tell exactly how he felt just by looking in his eyes. I’d been in love with Kevin for as long as I could remember. Seeing him so upset killed me.
When I first noticed I had feelings other than friendship for the older man I figured it was hero worship or something and wrote them off. As time went on though I realized they were so much more than that. The love I felt for Kevin was the type of love one felt for their soul mate. I knew it would never happen so I quickly dismissed the feelings and tried to think of Kevin as strictly my band mate, my friend. That day changed all of that though.
Everyone stopped what they were doing and focused their attention on Kevin. Brian walked towards him and tried to hug him. Kevin shrugged him of though. He walked towards me and wrapped him arms around my neck not saying anything. He buried his face in my neck and cried. It was the first time I’d ever seen Kevin cry, that alone scared me, but the fact that he was crying in my arms scared me more. I wasn’t sure what to do so I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly to me.
The other guys looked at us shocked. I myself wasn’t sure why Kevin had come to me instead of his cousin. Kevin and I weren’t even that close at the time, no one had expected to see him throw himself into my arms; especially me. I held him like that for the longest time. When he finally calmed down some we moved to the couch. I sat first and then he fell beside me wrapping his arms tightly around my waist and laying his head on my chest, which of course shocked everyone even more.
After sitting in the silence for a while he proceeded to tell us that the call had been from his mother, telling him that his grandma, his dad’s mother, had passed away earlier that morning. We all told him that he should fly home for the funeral. He said he would, as long as I went with him. That got him four weird looks. He simply stated that he didn’t want to go alone and to drop the subject.
Later that evening I was pigging out in my hotel room. Room service had brought me fried green tomatoes, Doritos, chocolate chip cookies, and Rice Krispies. I was just getting ready to watch a movie on TV when someone knocked on my door. I got up to answer it and was shocked to see Kevin on the other side. He never came over just to hang out. Something was up.
He told me he was bored and didn’t want to be alone. I quickly moved aside and ushered him in the door. He walked inside and I led him into the living room. I offered him something to eat, but he declined. We settled into the couch to watch some made for TV movie. The silence was comfortable, both of us just enjoying the others presence. Kevin lay down and laid his head in my lap. I laid my arm a cross his waist and returned my attention to the movie.
I wasn’t used to taking care of Kevin. It was something completely different to me, something I liked. After awhile I felt his fingertips lightly tracing my tribal band tattoo. I glanced down and gasped softly at the look of pure love in his beautiful green eyes. He sat up slowly and sat Indian style facing me on the couch. I turned off the TV sensing he wanted to talk, and turned to look at him. He took my hand in his and gently played with our fingers while he thought about what he wanted to say.
“What is it Kev,” I asked gently.
I saw his eyes immediately fill with tears and I mentally kicked myself for upsetting him. “I love you,” he whispered.
I smiled softly. “I love you too Kev, but what’s wrong baby?”
“You don’t understand!” Kevin said frustrated throwing his hands up in the air. I grabbed his arms and lowered them back down.
“What don’t I understand? Explain it to me, Kev,” I pushed gently.
“I love you, love you. Like I want to spend the rest of my life with you love. You’re all I think about. You mean the world to me and so much more Nicky” Kevin dropped his head and rubbed his eyes gently. I grabbed his hands and intertwined our fingers. I lifted his chin with our hands forcing him to look at me. He raised his eyes slowly.
“I love you like that too, baby,’ I whispered back.
A mixture of emotions played across his face before he smiled. I leaned in and pressed our lips together softly. I let go of his hands and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his lap.
**End Of Flashback***
I will always remember that day exactly how it happened. It was the day I found the love of my life. I’m still as crazy in love with him as I was the first time he said it.
~*~
Another thing I will always remember is the first time we made love. It wasn’t as romantic as one would think. It was in the bathroom at Wal*Mart.
**Flashback***
We had been dating for six months when we took our relationship to that next level. We were shopping for this and that, toothpaste, mouthwash, shampoo, and ketchup. Kevin had this weird and scary obsession with green ketchup and so everywhere we went he had to buy some. He claimed it was do much better than the original kind. I couldn’t taste the difference, but anything to make my baby happy.
Anyways there were all types of people at this Wal*Mart. Gays, lesbians, drag queens, gothics. I swear to this day that I saw Marilyn Manson there. Kevin said I was crazy. It was good, because Kevin and I could act like a real couple without people looking twice. We blended in with everyone else. It felt good fro a change. We were constantly hiding our relationship from the media. Here we could be ourselves.
I was trying to find a good sunscreen to use when we went swimming later on when I felt Kevin wrap his arms around my waist from behind. “Look what I found Nicky,” Kevin breathed in my ear.
I turned around to see him holding a box. It was lube, but not just any lube. It was chocolate flavored lube. I felt myself grown hard under his gaze. Kevin’s eyes darkened as he backed me up against the aisle. He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. I opened my mouth and allowed him tongue entrance. I weaved my hands through his hair and pulled him closed deepening the kiss. I could feel how aroused him was and I knew he wanted to go further.
I broke away and grabbed his hand. We walked towards the nearest bathroom. I quickly checked to stalls to see if we were alone. I then pulled Kevin against me pinning me between him and the sinks. I reached down and tugged his t-shirt up. He immediately removed mine. I reached for his belt buckle and quickly undid his pants. He had mine off in record time.
I laughed softly at his yellow polka dot speedo. We had worn our swimming suits under our clothing. We were meeting up with the others to go swimming later. Kevin had opted to wear a speedo instead of trunks like me. He quickly removed the rest of our clothing and it wasn’t funny anymore. He turned me around and told me to hold on to the counter. He opened the lube and quickly covered two of his fingers with it. The smell of chocolate filled the air as he slipped two fingers inside of me. He moved them in and out slowly stretching me for what was to come.
He kept whispering how much he loved me the whole time to keep me from screaming from the pain. After I got adjusted to two fingers he added another. He removed his fingers after a few moments and lubed up his cock. He entered me slowly so I could get used to his size. It hurt a lot worse then his fingers, and we had to take it slow.
It was the first time we’d done this together so neither of us lasted long. He kept a quick pace stroking my cock as he fucked me. I told him I wouldn’t last long and a few moments later I came in his hand yelling his name and how much I loved him. Kevin came shortly after biting my shoulder softly.
**End OF Flashback**
Like I said it wasn’t real romantic. It got a hell of a lot better! We won’t get into that though.
~*~
I remember when we got married. I’ve never seen Kevin cry as much as I did the day we got married. He could have filled an ocean. I cried, but he was very emotional that day.
**Flashback**
We had been together five years when Kevin proposed to me and asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes! Our mothers went all out in planning our wedding. By the time we wanted to be married Florida had passed a law allowing gays to marry and have all the benefits as a heterosexual marriage. We were getting married on the beach in our backyard. We’d moved in together after we’d been together for two years. Our home was the perfect place for our wedding.
We had candles lit everywhere and rose petals were thrown in the sand. The aisle which Kevin and I would walk up together was covered in white rose petals and vanilla candles. We decided to wear suits even though I felt like a penguin. Kevin said I looked sexy as hell, so I didn’t mind it much. He looked gorgeous in his suit.
I had to stop and think a few times. I couldn’t believe this man actually wanted to marry me. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with no one but me. It blew me away. I couldn’t understand why he wanted me of all people. I felt I didn’t deserve him.
The backyard was swarming with people when the wedding started. Brian who had gotten a marriage license to marry us was standing at the edge of the sand. No one had shoes on, because we were so close to the ocean that the water kept slashing up against us. Kevin and I locked arms and walked the short distance to where Brian stood. I grasped his hand in mine and turned to look at him. His eyes were shining with unshed tears as we stood before all our family and friends. I pulled him to me and hugged him tightly before the ceremony began. That’s all it took to set off his waterworks.
Once we pulled away the tears were running silently down his cheeks. I felt my own eyes well up and tried to blink back the tears. They fell anyway. Brian started the ceremony and Kevin cried more. We had both written our own vows that we wanted to read each other. I was anxious to read what Kevin had written, because we decided not to show them ahead of time.
Kevin went first. He wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands before he began. “I’m going to try to do this without crying to much,” Kevin said smiling.
“Nickolas I’ve loved you since the day we met in Lou’s office. I just wasn’t aware if what that love was. I feel like I'm a part of you. I’ve watched you grown from a boy into a beautiful man that I love more than anything. I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it, and now I won’t have to. I swear I will take care of you and love you from the depths of my heart each and every day of out new life together.” Kevin said softly finishing his vow.
The tears were streaming down my face as I looking into his eyes. They held so much love and I knew he could see the same in mine.
“Kev, I’d always known that you were destined to be a major part of my life. When I was fourteen I realized I was in love with you, but wrote off the feelings thinking there’d never be a chance for us. I love you more than life itself and I wonder sometimes how I got so lucky, what I did to deserve you. I don’t know if I could ever go on without you. I pledge my life, body and soul to you here today. I am a part of you and you’re a big part of me. I love you baby,” I said through the tears that managed keep falling.
**End OF Flashback**
Our wedding was beautiful. A day I will cherish for the rest of my life. We both decided to take each other’s last names. I becoming Nick Carter-Richardson and him Kevin Richardson-Carter.
~*~
The last memory I will always hold close to my heart is when we got our little girl, Hailie. Our pride and joy.
**Flashback**
“Mr. Carter-Richardson and Mr. Richardson-Carter right his way please,” The social worker said as she led us into one of the offices in the back of the adoption agency. We walked thorough the wide double doors hand in hand. We’d come out to the public about our relationship right after the wedding. We could be intimate with each other in public more now.
The group had broken up a few months after the wedding. Everyone was tired of it and wanted to get on with their lives. We’d been trying to adopt ever since. Kevin and I had both decided we wanted a child and since we couldn’t have one we decided to adopt. It had been a long hard process and today was the day we would finally get our little girl.
Her name was Hailie May and she was 3 month old. Both of us were very excited to get a chance to try parenting. It was a new experience, but we were in it together. We walked into the office and were seated in the overstuffed chairs facing the desk. The man sitting behind it, Mr. Fritz, was the man that had made it possible for us to get Hailie and we loved him.
“How are we today fellas?” He asked tuning to face us.
“Excited, We’re very excited to finally get our little girl,” Kevin said playing with our fingers.
“Good, because she’s here,” Mr. Fritz said gently.
We looked at each other and smiled. “I love you so much baby,” Kevin whispered gently.
“I love you so much too baby,” I said looking into his eyes.
He squeezed my hand and we stood up together. Mr. Fritz led us into a back room that was set up like a day care. Cribs were everywhere and babies were crying. He led us to a pink crib in the far corner. Hailie was lying there not making any noise. She was kicking her legs and arms up in the air. Kevin picked her up gently. She looked like a baby doll and He was scared he was going to drop her. He looked at me and smiled wide. We had our family.
**End Of Flashback** That was 5 years ago. Hailie is now getting ready to start kindergarten. Kevin and I are more in love than I ever imagined possible. Marriage didn’t split us apart like everyone warned it would it actually brought us closer together. I can’t imagine my life without Hailie or Kevin. I feel complete. I feel warm like some one’s wrapped a big electric blanket around all of us. I love my daughter and I love my husband.