Pairing(s): Nick/Kevin Rated: R Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes Originally Published: Early 2000s
Nick’s POV
I hated him, I really did. He treated me like I was still 13 freaking years old. I’m not anymore. I’ve grown up. I’m 23, a man.
Why can’t he see that? I dropped down on the couch beside Brian. I glared at Kevin, who stood across the room. I get so upset when the guys treat me like a kid. I guess its because I’ve been their “little” brother for so long they’ve not noticed I’ve grown up. It bothers me the most though that Kevin doesn’t notice. I hated it when he treated me like a child.
I guess the reason it bothers me so much with Kevin could be the fact that I’ve been in love with him since I was 16. I’ve known I was gay or at least bi since I was 14. It wasn’t until later that I realized my feelings for my older band mate. I’m not sure he would approve of my feelings. Kevin wasn’t the type that agreed with this sorta thing. But I loved him all the same.
I snapped out of my daze when I heard Kevin yelling at me again. “Do you ever grow up and pay attention like you’re supposed to?” He fumed.
My face started to flush at the insults. I kept my head down so he wouldn’t see the tears that had started to form. “Your just a little punk ass kid who never wants to pay attention. You’re so immature! I don’t know why they let a little kid like you in this group!” Kevin spat at me.
The tears had started to brim and then roll down my cheeks. I’d never felt so hurt, so crushed. I knew Kevin would never love me, but hatred wasn’t expected. I finally couldn’t stand to b in the room with him any longer. I felt like the air had been suck right out of my lungs.
“I am not a child!” I yelled as I jumped up and fled the room. It’s hard enough being criticized but its harder being criticized by someone you love.
I managed to get into my truck before I started sobbing. Once I got inside the pitiful cries racked my body and I shook all over. I somehow started the truck and got my self out of the parking lot. I had to get as far away from Kevin as possible. I figured I’d go to the beach to clear my head.
I wasn’t exactly focused 100% on the road because I could barley keep the tears out of my eyes. I didn’t realize anything was happening until I heard a bunch of horns and felt my truck hit something head on. I tried to move but I couldn’t. I screamed for help because my legs hurt. I screamed for Kevin to come save me.
That’s the last thing I remember before blackness overtook me.
Kevin’s POV
I hated yelling at him. Nick could be so immature at times and I know yelling at him does nothing to help it, but I still do it anyway. I guess its my way to hide the way I really feel. I guess it helps hide the fact that I’ve bee in love with him since he was 15. Yea, even though you all think I have a fairy tale happy marriage I’m in love with another man.
Kristin and I have known each other for years. When I told management I was gay they demanded I get a girlfriend and get married. Kristen was the only one willing at the time so we got married. We led a happy life to the media and the guys, but only we knew the real reason behind our marriage. Kristen also knew my feelings for Nick.
I noticed Nick throw himself on the couch and I sighed to myself. I’d managed to make him mad once again. I heard the guys joking that he was up late entertaining company and that’s why he was late. This always seemed to make me the maddest. I didn’t want him entertaining people other than myself. So I yelled at him for being late and immature. I know I hurt his feelings when I yell but I also knew he could never love me the way I loved him so I figured I could pretend to hate him and hide my feelings. I wasn’t surprised when he stormed out of the room. I figured he’d go to the beach for a while and then go home.
Awhile after Nick had left we sat around listening to management go on about something unimportant. I had a weird feeling in my stomach. No matter what I did I couldn’t get it to go away. I jumped when my cell phone rang and I got goose bumps. The hair on the back of my neck stood up as I answered the phone. I swallowed before I answered. “Mr. Richardson?” a voice on the other end asked.
“This is he,” I said. Instantly I knew something had happened to Nick and I felt my legs give out.
I sank to the floor and gripped the phone in my hand. “There’s been an accident,” He stated.
My heart rose to my throat I felt like my lungs were bursting. I surprised the officer when I asked if Nick was all right.
“His lower body was crushed, I’m not sure he’ll be able to walk again, they’ve taken him to the ER. Your number was first to call in case of emergency so we contacted you first.” He said evenly.
I’ll be there soon officer,” I managed to choke out.
I got myself off the floor and headed out the door. A rush of emotions over took me as I explained what was going on. I got into my car and sped to the hospital. Once I got inside I was hysterical as I tried to find out where he was. A nurse told me he was having surgery and I would have to wait in the lobby. I sat in a chair and dropped my head in my hands, only then did I allow the tears to fall. My body shook as the tears threatened to overtake me.
I’m not sure when the guys got there or which one approached me first, but before Long we all found ourselves in a big group hug. None of them had ever seen me this upset. They tried to calm me down, but the possibility of losing Nick kept me on edge. Until I knew he was ok I wouldn’t be able to calm down completely.
“I shoulda never yelled at him, I shoulda never let him leave.” I sobbed as AJ enveloped me into his arms.
“Shh it’s ok, he’ll be ok. Nicky’s a strong one he’ll pull through this. You need to calm down and stop blaming yourself. It's not going to help matters any.” I held on to AJ for dear life as he rocked us gently back and forth attempting to soothe me.
I had never seen AJ so sensitive, but it was what I needed at the moment. I’m sure they were all wondering why this was affecting me so much, but I wouldn’t tell them until it was necessary. Day turned to night and still we waited to hear something about Nick. I was dozing off on AJ’s shoulder when the doctor approached us. I jumped up and shook hands with the doctor. My stomach turned and I knew that there was something seriously wrong.
“He’s paralyzed from the waist down,” The doctor began.
I felt my own legs give out for the second time this time as I fell I felt the blackness overtake me.
Nick’s POV
I laid there for god knows how long before I wanted to open my eyes. When I did the room was empty. I tried to yell out but there was something in my throat. I tried to move my legs but they wouldn’t go. I realized I couldn’t feel then, they were worthless, I was paralyzed.
Someone opened the door, but I was too involved in my own world to notice. I felt someone take my hand in theirs and then I saw Kevin sitting next to me. My eyes filled with tears. He’d never want me now, even if he didn’t before. I was disabled, handicapped. I couldn’t walk. I glanced over at him and saw the tears in his eyes.
Before I could even think of what to say, I felt his lips on mine. Once I realized what was going on I kissed him back. He broke away and whipped the tears from his eyes.
“I love you,” he said softly. “I love you so much,” He wrapped his arms around me and dropped his head into the crook of my neck, and sobbed. “I’m so sorry, I love you so much,” he kept repeating over and over again.
We cried in each other’s arms. “What do you mean?” I asked afraid of his answer.
“I mean I should have never tried to hide my feelings by treating you like shit, I should have told you how I felt along time ago. I should have never let you leave upset. I should have made sure you knew just ho much I love you,” Kevin said matching his emerald green eyes with my sapphire blue ones.
My eyes immediately filled with tears. “I love you too,” I sobbed. “So much it hurts sometimes.” He hugged me to him.
We stayed like that for a long time, just crying and holding each other.
“I’m never leaving your side again, Kevin threatened. I smiled softly and kissed him.