Somehow he had to get Brian home to his place and that was no easy task to accomplish. Whatever the smaller man had taken, it made him drowsy. As a result nearly immediately after sitting down in the car Bri had been lights out again. Nick had already been worried, but as his friends eyes fell close, he became even more alarmed. Only the fact that Brian was still breathing normally, kept him from calling the ambulance right away. That did not mean, he would not call for medical help. In fact he had planned to contact his own doctor, who he trusted to be discreet, as soon as he had gotten Bri to his place.
Someone had to look him over. It was obvious that he was sick, but Nick didn't have enough medical expertise to know how sick exactly. As he bend over his friend to fasten his seat-belt he was careful to be gentle. While he wasn't completely sure how to feel about Brian being lights out like that, right now it at least made things easier. That way, he wouldn't scurry away from him again. Another thing that was weighing heavily on him. He couldn't remember any other time he had seen Brian as frightened as tonight. Anger was flaming up in his heart at whoever had managed to make him that afraid. Terrible things must have happened to him if things had gone so dire in only half a year.
The drive home gave Nick time enough to try and get some order into his thoughts and that was truly needed. Things had changed so drastically for the worse and he partly blamed himself for it. As he started his car, he thought about the way they had parted all the way back in May. In those six months since then Nick had thought about it a lot, but despite that he had not worked everything out.
The memory of the way Brian had kind of declared his love to him still made him sigh. Since then he did have enough time to think about how that made him feel, but it was difficult. There had been a time as they were younger, when Nick had most certainly felt the same, he had realized that, but since then so many things had happened. When Brian had stopped talking to him the first time it had broken his heart. It had been left in pieces and even though he had been able to gather some of them back up, putting his heart back together was no easy task. With a broken heart it was hard to understand what he felt. There certainly was some kind of emotion, whenever he thought of Brian. He did not know if that was still the love his younger self had felt for Bri or not, but he did feel something. It was some kind of attachment, that he felt for B-Rok and that was different to the attachment he felt to his other band-mates. Brian still was special to him. That was also the reason, why he felt it was his responsibility to take care of him. They always looked out for each other and when he had seen the picture in that tabloid, he immediately had felt the need to protect him and make sure he was safe. So perhaps he did still love him, but part of him still wasn't sure. He only knew that seeing Brian in that state on the picture had hurt him so much.
Right now it did not matter whether or not he loved him anyway. With Brian as thin as he was and addicted to drugs their feelings for each other weren't top priority. Before they could talk about their emotions, the smaller man had to get better. Judging by how emaciated Bri looked, that would take some time.
He was still out of it as they reached Nicks mansion. The plan had been to get him to walk along, but like this Nick wasn't sure if he could wake him up. So after a moment of hesitation, he decided just to carry his friend. Sadly with how thin he was, that probably was no problem anymore. What he did not expect was for Brian to stir as he bend over him to open his seat-belt. "No touch...", those words, Brian mumbled them while his eyes were still closed. They were barely audible and Nick needed a moment to understand them. His drugged friend was not really wide awake when he spoke them. Even as Brian opened his eyes shortly after speaking them, he did not seem like he was fully there yet. So Nick shook his head: "Dude, I need to get you inside. I have to touch you to do that. Or do you feel like you can stand on your own?", he at least had to offer him another way, since it felt wrong not to do it. Unsurprisingly that was exactly what Bri attempted to do next. He had to respect, that he was at least trying, but after just barely managing to stand up on his own he was swaying and clinging on the cars door as if his life depended on it. Nick sighed "Bri, that won't work, you will hurt yourself. Let me hold you! I promise I won't hurt you!", the fact that he even had to say that made him sad.
-
Brian hesitated. He knew that Nick only wanted to take care of him, but to be touched by him felt wrong. All those men and women that had touched him over the last weeks and months had only ever hurt him. While he was aware, that Nick wouldn't do the same, he didn't want to remember what they did, only because of feeling his friends hand on his body. He did not want to connect bad memories with a good person like Nick was. It still was true though, that right now he could not walk on his own, so there was no other choice: "I... You can touch me. But...", and then he reached out for Nicks hand. If he had to touch him Brian at least wanted to be the one to decide where and his friend allowed him to take that control. Strange, feeling the others hand like this would have made him so happy only half a year ago, now it stressed him out. Gently he pulled Nicks arm around his back putting the hand he was holding to a place under his arm, where it would have a good hold of him. Then he looked back up to Nick: "Alright, let's go.", he was ready and Frack did not wait any longer to lead him along.
As they made the first steps Bri looked around to make out where they were. While he had not been here before he recognized the place from pictures Nick had shown him a while back. This was his L.A. mansion, located somewhere in the Hollywood Hills if he remembered correctly, probably in a gated community. Perhaps he would be safe here, at least for a night or two, but he knew he would eventually need to get back to the club. "So... what did you take?", he was pulled from his thoughts when Nick broke the silence as they approached the huge entrance door to this place. There it was the conversation about his drug intake. "Ketamine. Tonight.", he kept it short, there were no further words needed and he also didn't like to talk about it in length, because he felt embarrassed for it.
While the drugs were his escape from reality, he was very well aware, that taking them was wrong. Nick did not seem satisfied with his answer though, because after he had unlocked the door and led him in he spoke again: "Tonight? What do you mean with Tonight?", so the taller blonde was skeptical. Brian huffed, what did he want to hear? "Yes, tonight. I also take coke, Ecstasy, sometimes LSD, I also tried Speed once. Never did H or Meth though.", now he had spelled it out, there was no use hiding it anyway, but it left his friend in shock as was evident by his wide-eyed expression. Brian couldn't help but to sink his head, he was ashamed as he raised his voice again: "Yeah, I know." Nick sighed at his words and lead him on towards one of the guest rooms, before he continued the conversation: "But why Bri?", that question was harder to answer and Brian wasn't sure he could explain it right now. How did you explain to somebody that you wanted to destroy yourself? That it started with alcohol and coke and got worse when tragedy happened?
Tragedy. He didn't even want to think about the word describing what really happened to him. Speaking it out would have even been worse, it would have made it true. So he kept his mouth shut, which did not went unnoticed by Nick: "I'm worried about you.", as if he had needed to explain why he had asked the question. Brian was very well aware, that Nick worried about him, there had been no need for him to speak it out, but if he was true to himself it kind of felt good to have someone care about you.
As they entered the guest room Nick immediately sat him down on the bed. The room was rather large for its purpose and for Brian's taste it was kind of empty as well. There was a huge mirror on one of the walls and a dresser underneath it. The furniture were white just as the walls and the carpet. Here and there were some golden applications to make everything look a little bit more fancy. All of it seemed kind of tacky, but it fit Nick's taste. Brian sat on the bed in the center of the room, but he took notice of an open door behind him, which lead into a bathroom. So this was where he would be staying for the night.
"I'm really worried about you.", Nick repeated what he had said before and it was only then that Brian noticed, that he still had not responded. "I'm sorry.", he tilted his head to face the carpet. It was still hard to find the proper words to say, so his answer once again was rather short. When he noticed that he possibly was being rude like that he spoke again though: "But thank you.", as if those few words made a whole lot of a difference. Nick shook his head: "You don't have to thank me. I just wished I knew what was going on in that head of yours.", he sighed, "Anyway I'm going to get a doctor to have a look at you." Now it was Brian's turn to widen his eyes. If he got a doctor everything might come out. "No Nick! No doctors, we can't tell anyone!", Nick frowned at that response, "Brian! Have you looked at yourself? You look like deaths skinnier brother and you are on drugs. I can't have you laying around in my guest room and then die on me." As sharp as those words were, they hit a spot in Brian's heart that hurt, because he was speaking the truth: "I won't die I promise, but a doctor... What if he tells the press?"
-
He could not believe what he was hearing. There was Brian sitting there as gaunt as he was with issues far beyond Nick's comprehension and all he was worried about was the press. "Fuck the press. Man, I couldn't give any less about what some crappy reporter writes right now. This is about YOU and your health. That's endlessly more important than reputation.", those words were spoken in agitation and probably a bit louder, than he had meant to be. As Brian twitched at the noise Nick regretted the volume he used right away, but not what he had said. "I'll call the doctor, he will look you over and then you will sleep. Tomorrow we will talk about everything else. I'm sorry if that is not what you want, but you have to trust me now Bri. It's for the best." While he had spoken calmer now, Brian didn't seem any less uncomfortable with the words spoken. It was obvious, that he didn't like the idea of someone having a look at him, but Nick was determined to make sure his friend was okay enough to make it through the night. Looking at Brian he noticed, that he was thinking about something to say in protest, but when some tension fell off the mans body it was obvious that he had given in. When Bri finally raised his voice, the question spoken surprised him "But you will stay with me, won't you?" Of course he would. He would stay with Brian no matter what, he never wanted to leave him alone again. So he nodded and even gave his friend a gentle smile. "Okay, I'm going to call the doc now.", that said he took out his phone and dialed a number he had saved.
---
The doctor had come and gone and while he had said, that Brian was alright to stay here for the night, there were many other things that left Nick worrying. While the doctor had urged him to make sure, that Bri went into rehab, that was not even the worst part. That had been expected, but what came surprising and as a shock was what he saw when Brian's shirt was removed for the check-up. Not only had he seen every single bone in Brian's body, but he had also noticed that he was covered in bruises. Some were new, others were older but they all looked pretty bad. As soon as he had seen them Nick had known, that his friend had been through hell. For a moment he had wanted to ask about them, he was sure the doctor wanted to as well, but neither of them did. Nick did not ask, because he had seen how traumatized his friend was, the doctor did not, because he knew it wasn't right to pry in these situations. If Brian wanted to talk he would eventually and it was for him to decide when that time had come. Perhaps he could try to coax the words out of him, when he was doing better, but right now he allowed him to stay silent. All Nick could do was to make sure he stayed away from whatever had caused him that harm. He was pretty determined to do that, to keep him safe and out of harms way, but he also knew, that Brian's urges to get more drugs would soon kick in. So despite hating the idea of it he had locked the door to the guest room, after his friend had finally fallen asleep. While it brought him no joy to lock him up, that was the only way he could make sure, he wouldn't run away, when he wasn't looking. Of course he would look after him and he planned to stay in Brian's room over the night, but he did not want to risk him running, if he fell asleep by accident. The doctor had treated some of the worst wounds before he left, but if his friend went back to the club, he was sure that would prove for naught. So he had to make sure he stayed away from there.
Additionally he would need some help to look after Brian until he was ready to go to rehab. There was one person that came to his mind when he thought about who that help could be: AJ. If there was anybody who had any idea what Brian was going through it was him. While Nick had some idea about drug abuse, having done some Ecstasy in the past himself, AJ had even more experience with it. Right now that experience would really be helpful and so Nick took his mobile to send him a message:
From: Nick Carter To: AJ McLean Hey Alex, I need your help! Or rather Brian needs your help. He got some real issues. Don't want to write it on the phone, please come to my place tomorrow, okay? Thanks in advance, Nick
After sending the message he put his phone away. The night would be long and he did not want to be distracted by it. Nick had to make sure Bri was doing well. So while his friend slept, he sat on floor in the corner of the room, just observing him.