Pairing(s): Nick/Kevin Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Originally Published: 2/6/2021 **Direct sequel to 017. Brown - Shades of Brown**
Nick opened one eye and waited to see if he heard the noise again. Once his brain had confirmed that yes, there was indeed someone banging on the door he sighed in frustration. He was comfortable and he really, really didn’t want to move. The noise came again and this time he knew he couldn’t ignore it. Pushing himself up off the hotel bed he stumbled to the door, tripping over his shoes in the process. In hindsight, he should have been a little less desperate to plop facedown on the cloud of blankets and a little more attentive to where he threw his things, he thought as he felt himself catapulting towards the wall. Pushing out his arms to break his stumble he fell against the wall with a hrumpf. He groaned at the sudden jolt of pain from the impact with the wall. He shook his head as the knock came again and moved to open the door. Didn't whoever was knocking just hear him almost die in here?
“What?" he yelled as he threw the door open and then changed his greeting and smiled at the timid room service attendant who pushed the cart towards him.
"Sorry to interrupt you sir." the shy girl replied unwilling to meet his eyes.
Nick took pity on her shyness and also was embarrassed for his outburst. He took the cart from her and then dug a twenty out of his wallet and handed it to her. She smiled up at him as she took it before turning and walking back down the hallway. He shook his head as he watched her go. He wasn't used to being the one that intimidated the hotel staff. When had this happened? He really needed to relax.
Back inside his room he made quick work out of setting up his dinner. He hadn't eaten anything all day and after rehearsing all afternoon he was absolutely starving. He placed his salad, cheeseburger and fries and his cheesecake dessert on the coffee table before wheeling the room service cart back out into the hallway. He grabbed a bottle of water out of the room mini fridge and settled onto the couch to eat his dinner. He flipped through the tv stations before settling on SportsCenter. He watched idly as he ate and tried to relax, the tension of the day beginning to leave his limbs.
Halfway through his dinner his eyes landed on the packet on the coffee table. It had been slid under the door and he’d grabbed it when he came into the room. He knew it contained photographs he needed to proof and was not looking forward to it. He was never really good at choosing which photographs should be approved and which ones should be rejected. Most of the time he was outvoted anyway so he wasn’t sure why they even bothered to send them to him anymore. He hated doing things like this but he’d vowed to himself to try to be as responsible as possible this time around.
When Kevin had first left, all of the administrative duties he had always handled had been split up evenly between them. Several times he had found himself wanting to learn more, do more, and so he’d gone to Howie often asking for more work or to be in charge of more things. He was overwhelmed by it all sometimes and wondered how Kevin had ever managed to handle all of the extra work completely alone. It made him even more upset to know how much he’d blindly been putting on the other man without even realizing it. He’d oftentimes wondered if part of the reason why Kevin had chosen to leave was the pressure of how much work he had to do if he stayed. The first time Nick had caught wind that there may be the slim chance, the possibility, that Kevin was coming back to them, well he’d decided to do everything in his power to make sure Kevin never felt overloaded again. If he got Kevin back this time, he wasn’t going to let him slip through his fingers again.
Because of that promise to himself, he was always punctual to meetings, rehearsals and anything else he’d ever made them all late for. He helped organize dates and made decisions about hotel rooms and any of the trivial stuff Howie didn’t want to have to handle. They had slowly been giving Kevin things to do, but Nick was very cautious of how much. He wanted to make sure Kevin had time to really adjust before Howie dropped everything on him again. That meant that Nick needed to go through these photographs quickly so they could turn them around for the photographer. No more waiting on Nick to get his part of the process done. He finished his dinner and decided he would go through them as soon as he had a shower.
He threw his trash out and dug around in his duffle bag for a clean set of clothes before stripping off his soiled ones and bawling them up into his suitcase. He could have showered at the rehearsal space like the others had, but he knew his limits and following them all back to the showers, knowing Kevin would be in there using one was more than he was willing to deal with. He’d made the decision to wait until he got back to the hotel and instead napped quietly in the van while he waited on the others.
The moment he’d hit the hotel room however he’d been so famished he didn’t think he would be able to do anything else until he’d eaten. Now that that chore was done, he could actually enjoy his shower before getting down to work before the exhaustion claimed him for the duration of the evening. He laughed to himself. The life of a popstar was less than thrilling most days.
- Pine 1: a variable color averaging a dark green that is yellower and lighter than evergreen or average bottle green and bluer and paler than forest green 2: to yearn intensely and persistently especially for something unattainable -
The scolding water was a welcome distraction as Nick stepped under the spray. He’d been anticipating this shower pretty much all day. It had been a tough day all around. He’d gotten up late and had to hurry to make it downstairs on time so he’d not been able to shower to wake up. Not that it really mattered much, one hour into rehearsals and you wouldn’t be able to tell who had showered that day or not. It was just one thing after another. He’d gotten distracted during one routine and found himself clattering to the floor, hitting his wrist and arm pretty hard on the concrete floor. He’d had to feign exhaustion so they wouldn’t find out the real reason for his tumble had nothing to do with his weariness, but one dark haired god who moved with such grace and pure sexual energy that Nick had found it hard to remain standing. His pine colored sweatpants kept riding low on his hips and the stretchy fabric had stretched just a little too far at one point and all Nick could think about was how firm that ass looked and how badly he wanted to touch it. One minute he was upright doing the dance steps and the next he was on the floor, his face flushed in embarrassment and pain.
He really needed to work on getting his shit together before someone caught on and figured out that the baby of the group was having dark, sexual thoughts about their father figure. Nick groaned as he stretched his tired muscles under the hot spray and reached for the shampoo. He hadn’t thought about Kevin like a father in some time. Not since the first time he’d woken up after an explicitly hot dream to find out he’d humped the mattress to completion in the midst of his dream fantasy. He’d never been more embarrassed, but what was worse, was facing the other man an hour later. Nick could still remember the permanent blush that graced his cheeks that day. He’d had to fake a stomach ache to keep people from constantly questioning him. That had been Nick’s first clue that his feelings for the other man were changing. He just never anticipated them growing so deeply, or staying for so long.
- Jade 1: a light bluish-green 2: to tire or dull through repetition or excess -
The shower had done wonders for his mood. He felt refreshed and content. He stepped out into the bathroom and wrapped himself up in the thick fluffy hotel robe. Tying the belt tightly closed, he padded back into the living room area and climbed on the couch. He reached for the packet of photos and a sharpie and settled in to complete his task. He spread them out so he could look at all of them at once before he started going through them one by one. He hated photos of himself. In comparison to the single shots of the other guys, his shots always looked ridiculous. His smile looked like he’d swallowed a hanger and he wasn’t particularly thrilled with the way they had styled his hair. Why couldn’t he have the classic good looks like Brian, or the sexy rebel vibe that AJ always had in any photo that was captured of him?
His eyes settled on the solo shots of Kevin and he felt his heart skip a beat. Kevin’s jade green eyes were so bright as the photographer captured him mid laugh, those beautiful eyes twinkling. Kevin laughing was the sexiest thing Nick had ever seen. He had a dry sense of humor so something had to be really good to get Kevin to laugh like that, but oh when he did, anyone who was able to witness it should count themselves blessed. He was always thankful when he could see it first hand, but to see it captured like this in a photo was something else entirely. He quickly signed the back of all four of those, giving his approval to move forward with all of them. How could they not. Kevin was absolutely gorgeous in them and anyone who saw them would agree.
He quickly went to work going through the rest of the solo shots of the rest of the guys, even approving two of his, knowing he would get yelled at if he rejected all of them. Once he had those finished he moved them back to the envelope so he could focus on the group shots. There were a few that he could tell immediately wouldn’t work just because he didn’t like the way he looked in them. He knew that he wasn’t the only one that mattered of course, but if they were putting these to a vote, he wasn’t using his votes for photos he didn’t look good in. He put an X on the ones he didn’t like and then leaned back on the couch to look at the five remaining shots.
- Olive : any of several colors resembling that of the unripe fruit of the olive tree that are yellowish green -
The pale olive skin and vibrant eyes stared back at him from the printed photographs. What he wouldn’t give to run his fingers over that milky complexion, those plush, full lips. He could almost imagine how it would feel, warm, like home. He traced the lines on the older man’s face in the photo and wished for the hundredth time that day alone that touching him in real life would one day be a fantasy come true. He had to roll his eyes at that one. Even him, Mr. Head in the Clouds, daydream believer, had to admit this particular fantasy would never come to fruition.
He closed his eyes and leaned back against the back of the couch. Oh but how much he wished. He wished the other man was sitting in this room, right here on the couch with him. Nick could almost feel the presence of the other man, imagined how it would feel to have him reach out and slowly untie the belt on his robe, letting the plush fabric fall from his shoulders and opening himself up to the man he’d loved for so long. In his dreams, Kevin would be kneeling on the floor, touching and caressing every inch of exposed skin he came across.
Nick felt himself harden at the thought. He let his thoughts continue, thinking of how good it would finally feel to have Kevin’s fingers on his skin, touching everywhere he could reach. Nick slid his hands up his thighs and loosened the belt on his robe. As he imagined how it would feel if he could finally get Kevin to touch him, Nick grew daring. He pushed open the folds of his robe and wrapped one hand around his forming erection. His other hand its way to his balls, rolling them softly in his palm while his other hand stroked his shaft gently. He felt himself grow harder as he thought about Kevin’s ass from earlier that day and how much he had wanted to slide up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist and grinding his cock hard against it. He moaned softly as he increased his speed, rubbing quicker now as the precum leaked out, giving him a nice slickness to increase his pleasure. As good as he could make himself feel as he dreamed of his dark haired love, he knew it would be absolutely explosive if he ever got to touch the other man.
Nick was brought crashing back to reality at the sound of someone banging on the door. Nick frowned and picked up his phone to check the time. It was after 11. Who would feel the need to come bang on his door this late? Grumbling to himself, he got to his feet and headed towards the door. He made sure to retighten the robe belt as he went, blushing as he thought about being interrupted. He willed his hardon to ease, hoping beyond hope that this would be a quick interruption and he could pick up where he had left off. He checked the peephole and frowned again as he watched Howie fidgeting on the other side of the door. He was momentarily frightened that something had happened.
“What’s wrong?” Nick demanded as he opened the door.
Howie stared at him for a moment, taking in his flushed face and crinkled robe. “Is this a bad time?” he questioned, his head tilted to the side.
Nick felt the blush deepen. “It’s late Howie, I wasn’t expecting company. Is everything okay?”
Howie’s face broke out in a grin as he smirked at the blonde. Nodding he said, “Yeah. I just couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d see what you were up to, but if you’re busy…”
Nick rolled his eyes and stepped out of the door, opening it wider for the smaller man to enter the room. “Well you’re here so you might as well come in.”
Howie followed him into the room and stopped short when he saw the photographs spread out on the couch. He whirled around to face the blonde, his face red and an expression Nick had never seen before. “What the fuck were you doing?”
Nick looked at him for a moment before responding. “What?”
“Don’t play dumb, you answer the door in a robe with your “little soldier” still saluting and then I come in here and find these photos all over the couch. Please tell me you weren’t jacking off to photos of us.”
Nick tried to speak, he even opened his mouth a couple of times but no words would come. Howie’s eyes bugged out of his head as he continued to stare. “Nick!” he yelped, his voice going up an octave.
“What? Stop looking at me like that. I wasn’t looking at all of you.” Nick managed to get his voice to cooperate for a moment.
Howie shook his head and turned away from the photos. “Dude, seriously. This is messed up, even for you.”
Nick sank down on the chair by the table and dropped his head in his hands. “Don’t you think I know that?” he mumbled into his crossed fingers.
Howie watched the anguished man and felt his frustration evaporate. He sat down beside him and laid a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you just talk to him?” he said gently.
Nick snorted. “Yeah, right Howie. He just came back. I am not going to give him another reason to leave. I’ll be fine. I always am.”
Howie didn’t speak for a moment but continued to rub his hand up and down Nick’s shoulder, trying to provide some form of comfort for the other man. “This isn’t healthy. You can’t keep bottling yourself up like this.”
Nick shrugged Howie’s hand off, the touch no longer felt comforting, but stifling. “I know that. Believe me D, I get it. But you’ve got to give me some time here. The way I’m feeling isn’t impacting anything with the group. I’ve been the consummate professional.”
Howie had to give him that one. “You have Nicky. He’s even commented a couple of times how impressed he is with you.”
“Really?” Nick asked with a small voice, his eyes hopeful.
Howie felt his heart tug. He wished there was something he could do to make the two of them figure this thing out between them quicker, but he knew he had to stand back and let them figure it out on their own terms, their own time. If anyone meddled in it, it could all be ruined by one or both of them denying everything and retreating further into themselves. No, this was something they had to do. As much as it killed Howie to stand back and watch it happen.
“Really Nicky. I’m telling you, you should talk to him” Howie gave him a smile.
Nick returned the smile, but shook his head. “I don’t think so. I’ll be okay. I just need to take some time to get used to seeing him all the time. As much as it hurt when he was gone, I could breathe a little easier not seeing him every day. I just have to get to a place where I can be around him without the urge to jump his bones at every smile he sends my way.” Nick winked as Howie’s face turned red.
“Too much information for me Junior. I’m going to head to bed. You have...fun.” he said with a wink of his own.
“Ugh Howie get out of here.” Nick demanded, not even attempting to meet his eyes this time. He’d been embarrassed enough for one day. He breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the hotel room door close behind the other man.
- Emerald :a bright green color like that of an emerald. -
Howie’s visit had broken whatever spell he’d been under before. He flipped over the photos and quickly signed his name to all of them before stuffing them back into the packet. He didn’t need to get caught with them again. He sealed the packet and placed it on the table by the door so he would remember to send them down in the morning. He was tired, mind and body tired. He stepped out of the robe and climbed into the bed, pulling the covers up over his head as he went. At least in his dreams he could pretend that the glimpses he caught of Kevin were more than they were, meant more than they did. In his dreams, Kevin tried to get his own glimpses. The two shyly trading stares and secret looks, both wanting, loving. In his dreams he could pretend to be wrapped up in those arms, roll over and confess his love. In his dreams, when he caught glimpses of those beautiful green eyes shining like emeralds, they were always looking back with the same love he knew was reflected in his own. He let out a giant yawn as he pulled one of the hotel pillows into his arms, pretending it was the other man he had wrapped up tight against him. He felt himself begin to drift and pressed himself further into the bedding as he drifted off to sleep. Dreams came quickly, they always did. Full of all the love and passion he carried inside for the older man. He never wanted to leave his dreams.